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Charitable Disguise's definitions

Paw Claw

Introduced by the band Vibe 45 in the late 1900's, the 'Paw Claw' is an advanced strumming technique for the bass guitar, wherein the elbow and forearm are situated subtly perpendicular to the strings from the butt end of the instrument allowing for flexibility to float/position the strumming hand ('Paw') so that the index, middle and ring fingers are able to intersect frets 15, 17 and 19 over the E, A and D strings respectively. The 'Claw' represents a uniform, pulsing hammer motion executed intermittently and hastily at a 70 degree attack angle, snap depressing the string(s) as if to 'Claw' it deep into the neck of the guitar. Commonly used to pocket lock midrange to low mid frequency rhythmic, funk house drops with the intent to uniquely accentuate drum kicks, hits, stacks and jabs in collaboration with Chuck and Hambone.
Scenario Form
{New fan of Vibe 45 } "Dude, what the heck was D Dog doing with the bass guitar during the song "Millennium Summer"? {Chuck from Vibe 45 replies} "That's the 'Paw Claw' jack."

{D Dog to Hambone of Vibe 45} "Hey Hambone, thanks for showing me the 'Paw Claw' technique!"
by Charitable Disguise November 10, 2019
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Seismic Aqueous Waveform

An abnormally massive wave.
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
1. In 2019, a Seismic Aqueous Waveform was detected about 100 miles west of the California/Oregon coastline.

2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."

3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
by Charitable Disguise December 19, 2019
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Squid In A Ditch

A profound and controversial characterization of the female genitalia, where "Ditch" represents the angular, contoured bordering meat of the labia, and "Squid" depicts the amorphous, unidentifiable, moistened nonsense in between. Sometimes used as the final closing/mic drop term in adolescent "funny names for genitalia" competitions.
Dude, she pulled up her skirt and it totally looked like a frickin "Squid in a Ditch!"
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Dermal Incineration Event

Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.

{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."

2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
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Piratician

The original etymological root word for the modernized term = Politician.

The profession and practice of willingly engaging in relationships, behaviors, affairs and deceitful tactics for the purpose of self promotion/gain/sexual gratification through profiteering, theft, criminal enterprising and the cloaked instantiation of illicit/fraudulent activities without regard for harm, impairment and/or disability inflicted upon others.

{Background and Context}
Upon return from a research expedition in the aboriginal territory of Korkycow Australia, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen delivered a lexicon postulate based on revelations from ancient scrolls and audio-phonic linguistic interpretations stemming from his interactions with the Hunterbiden Microcock Pygmalion Tribe. Dr. Culvitude was attempting to decode a scroll illustrating a smiling, garment rich man holding the heart of another person standing nearby, when a bitter feisty, belly scourged Pygmy pointed at the picture, clearly anunciating the word "Pirat-ician" with a heavy oriental accent. Dr. Culvitude phoned his partner Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of this revelation wherein it would serve as proof of Culvitudes conjecture on the transcontinental, English modernization and pronunciation of "Politician" which actually evolved from the Latin word "Pirata" combined with "ician", or "Piratician".
"Dr. Damone, the Pygmy chief clearly said the word "Piratician" when trying to tell me about how a once friendly tribe deceived them, took their food reserves, fingered our Matriarchs and returned with an affect of innocence as if nary an expression of remorse."
by Charitable Disguise May 2, 2020
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Ballistic Prose

Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.

{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.

2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"

3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
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Ethnicitized

Derived from the words Ethnicity + Hypnotized, Ethnicitized is the intentional act of modifying, transforming & dispositioning ones identity from self, into a psychomorphic, hyperdouched state of being wherein the individual choreographs & elicits social/behavioral patterns, designed to personify the mannerisms, dialect & slang of a target ethic group, to gain acceptance, favor, goods, services &/or alliance oriented popularity for reasons of political advancement.

Over time, the repetitious execution of such tactics results in an amnesiac cerebal impressioning of temporal permanence, accompanied by a spontaneous, involuntary, visceral, schizophrenic, socially triggered personality change, unbeknownst to the individual, but completely obvious to others.

Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen returned to the Coyote Lakes psychiatric hospital to inform Dr. Kevin Michael Damone and Pro-Fessor Campbell about his findings on the Baptits Foundation & the unethical microcosm of Flakycock councilmen who posed as religious figureheads, fronting theological prowess so as to steal pensions from Ernie, Menden & 300+ victims. Culvitude viewed 20yrs of data, overlaying R score models on data sets, receiving a confidence trigger during a presidential candidate interview in 2020, when the incumbent (Anglo Saxon) performed his unique, Corn Pop gangsta style talk with well educated/astute African American interviewers. Thus, the condition - 'Ethnicitized' was born. DSM-5 code: j0E-bIdN-cM0n:mAn
{Friends discussing politics} "Dude, I am watching an interview with this 77 year old white guy running for president, and he keeps using this weird slang, and this odd tone of voice, as if he is trying to sound like he is from some tribe. {Friend Responds} "Yeah, that guy is totally 'Ethnicitized', trying to pretend that he is African American to an African American audience. Its quite comical. Oh, also, did you know that he knuckle-dunked his fingers into an intern's vagina too, because, well, "he thought she liked him."
by Charitable Disguise May 24, 2020
mugGet the Ethnicitizedmug.

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