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Charitable Disguise's definitions

Dermal Incineration Event

Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.

{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."

2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
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Days

A gentelmenly, over enthusiastic vocalized expression of supreme delight, exhilaration and triumph when greeting and welcoming a close friend or loved one. Adapted from post cold war pop culture references to blissful, timeless rhythmic engagement in Easter European Dance Halls, the term "Days" personifies the intensity and joy of the moment in the presence of partners (i.e.friends or loved ones). Sometimes spoken with an indistinguishable European accent. In cases of suprise greetings, 'Days' is used in conjunction with the word 'Hey', as in "Hey Days!"
{Friend enters room} "Days!"
{Friend enters room, surprising and overwhelming you with joy} "Hey Days!!!"
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
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Cave Bathing

An experiential rite of passage for graduate students wherein the immersion into ancient, thermal, translucent seminal fluid filled Hungarian caverns transforms dissonant, quasi-intellectual brain cells into a hyper-aligned neural configuration, inducing a genius level information processing, multi-dimensional innovation & superior emotional agility.

{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.
1. "Jason, what is that shimmering oily film on top of the water? Is that supposed to be part of the 'Cave Bathing' experience?" Yes, D Dog, now quit looking at that hairy couple in a primordial carnal exchange, and dunk your sack in the Cave Bath.

2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."
by Charitable Disguise January 25, 2020
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Black Sock

Originally observed during an urgent, unplanned wardrobe transition from business attire to comfortable clothes at the onset of band practice, the term, 'Black Sock', evolved symbolically from a stereotypical garment donning of conformity (working for 'the man') to a statement of transformation, rebellion, commitment, fun, freedom and an unrelenting promulgation of ingenious collaboration with band mates. Sometimes chanted in the form of familiar choral revelries so as to induce and incite a frolic oriented 'BLACK SOCK' dance as an acknowledgement of symbiotic creativity among band mates.
Scenario Form and Description
Band member shows up to practice in business attire, quickly changes into shorts and a shirt, realizes he does not have extra socks, embarrassingly saunters into the arena with his guitar + comfortable clothes wearing his black business socks. Band mates, quick to observe and curtail said identity kerfuffle caused by the leftover business garments, initiate a chant:
"D Dog, Yes!!!

BLACK SOCK left,

BLACK SOCK right,

BLACK SOCK mutha fu**** gonna dance all night"
At the induced choral behest of his band mates, D Dog drops his instrument and proceeds to entertain his comrades with an accompanying Court Jester tempo oriented kick swap dance as a method of activating band member creativity.
by Charitable Disguise November 9, 2019
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Youuuu

1. An instinctual and gregarious choral expression of unencumbered joy at the onset of a conversation or 'in person' reunion with a friend or loved one, after a long separation. Often exclaimed with intentional, sustained legato emphasis in order to incite a reciprocal counter hoot (as depicted in suffix form with three consecutive vowels tagged to the traditional etymological pronoun 'you'.).
2. Adapted from a comedic reference highlighting the trials, horrors and banal tribulations associated with Dieter's Dream, 'Youuuu' is sometimes used in conjunction with the preceding words 'First, I would {choice of verb}..'
1. {Your cell phone buzzes; a call from an old friend. You answer} "Youuuu!", {Your friend retorts} ""Youuuu!" {Instantaneous glee ensues}
2. First I would throw 'Youuuu' to the ground......
by Charitable Disguise October 20, 2019
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Notindapicha

A hastily serious command spoken with a firm and flippant intent to shenanigan laden onlookers attempting to disrupt, ruin or bomb the process of taking a photo. 'Notindapicha', \naught-inda-peach-uh\ was originally derived from the interpretation of an Asian accentuated fusion of the English words, "Not in the picture", in an effort to clarify the purpose and role of an outside service golf attendant who was asked to "Take a Picture"of the Nippon Open tournament golfers. Often articulated in combination with the word 'Taykapicha' (Take a picture).
Scenario and Form:
1. Jaime, an outside services golf attendant, is asked by the Nippon Open coordinator to 'Take a picture' of the organized assembly of tournament golfers. Jaime, in a playful retort, assumes a center facing pose, smiling among the gallery as if to be included in the photograph. Harried, beguiled and curiously assertive with a tinge of expressed humor, the Nippon Open coordinator exclaims, "Notindapicha....................Taykapicha!!!"
by Charitable Disguise November 21, 2019
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Scentophile

A rare psychiatric disorder wherein the intentional, premeditated act of inhaling the scent of an individual for purposes of olfactory gratification, induces an unwelcoming, untamable, primordial erection, so intense that blood flow to the hippocampus (memory recall) is temporarily depleted, thus resulting in the onset of incoherent verbal communications and an overall affect of non-accountable bafoonery, stemming from a neuropathic fugue.

In the early 1990's, and during the era of the band Vibe 45, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen began his studies on the impacts of alternative music on human behavior, with a specific focus on the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit," by Nirvana. Curious patterns emerged from the data as Culvitude plotted the manifestation of exacerbated mannerisms elicited by politicians and statesmen, with their constituents during media events. Culvitude initially formed a narrow perspective, and the commonly known phrase "Boner Cloaking", to explain how, in public gatherings, politicians would smell the hair from the opposite sex, conjure up an erection (boner), then quickly immerse/hide in the crowd (cloaking), so as to not reveal their affliction. Culvitude and his partner, Dr. Kevin Michael Damone from Korkyville, would later present the full extent of their research on years of Boner Cloaking observations and what is now known as "Scentophilia", publishing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders under code JOeB-1Dn.
{Two friends watching TV} "Dude, why is that senator smelling that little girls hair for like ten minutes straight?" {Friend Replies} Didn't you know that the senator is 'Scentophile'? Its a classic DSM-MD case of JOeB-Dn.!"
by Charitable Disguise May 16, 2020
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