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Charitable Disguise's definitions

Dermal Incineration Event

Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.

{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."

2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
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Squid In A Ditch

A profound and controversial characterization of the female genitalia, where "Ditch" represents the angular, contoured bordering meat of the labia, and "Squid" depicts the amorphous, unidentifiable, moistened nonsense in between. Sometimes used as the final closing/mic drop term in adolescent "funny names for genitalia" competitions.
Dude, she pulled up her skirt and it totally looked like a frickin "Squid in a Ditch!"
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Seismic Aqueous Waveform

An abnormally massive wave.
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
1. In 2019, a Seismic Aqueous Waveform was detected about 100 miles west of the California/Oregon coastline.

2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."

3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
by Charitable Disguise December 19, 2019
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Pyro-noxious Slabs

A hazardous, geologic event wherein a hyper-accelerating flow of highly concentrated, sulfur infused volcanic magma builds, cools and intermittently cracks, avulsing into jaggedly uniform, mobilzed 'slabs' of densely toxic rock formations. In rare and unique environmental conditions, migratory slabs have been observed to spontaneously combust into abounding flames upon impact with proximate flora, fauna and curious homosapien onlookers, resulting in a enveloping expulsion of sulfuric cinder chards and respiratory impairing, noxious fumes.
1. "Did you see how the lava formed into 'Pyro-noxious Slabs' when it came down the side of of the volcano, cooling in rhythmic waves as it hit the ocean water's edge?"

2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
by Charitable Disguise December 3, 2019
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Night

A covert, stealthily disguised term of endearment used to fervently intimate the attractiveness of a female, often emphasized with reckless, pre-pubescent enthusiasm. In cases of extreme glamour and beauty, occasionally pronounced with a heightened focus on sustaining vocal droning and amplitude on the letter "I".
She's a "Night!"
Night!
OMG dude, she is a frickin Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Noodler

An alcohol induced, female bar patron with an insatiable and unrelenting obsession to haphazardly sample, finagle and endure an unfulfilling quest for the ultimate 'Noodle' (a.k.a. male genitalia). Sometimes used in combination with the following adjectives/descriptors: 'sloppy', 'unsightly', 'desperate', puss-wide-open' and 'gargantuan'. For example: 'Sloppy Noodler' or 'Unsightly Noodler'.
Dude, the "Noodler" has been in here every night this week!
Are you frickin kidding me, the "Noodler" is totally out of control today. She's had her puss-wide-open for at least six guys since 11am!
I was pulling up to Trudeau's house and the "Noodler" came out of a side hatch door, barefoot, wearing a Nickelback t-shirt.
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
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Sanfu

1. A multi-purpose, ultra-compact motorized utility vehicle, engineered for service functions and customer/member transportation on and around resort, country club and golf course properties.

2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.

Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.

"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.

"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
"Dude, Rizer opened up the throttle on the Sanfu, drove around the curb and launched the Sanfu 50 feet over that ridge!"

"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"

"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
by Charitable Disguise November 24, 2019
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