Charitable Disguise's definitions
Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
Get the Ballistic Prose mug.A repetitious, unexplainable high frequency radio wave transmission received by earth from an unknown source/location within and/or outside our galaxy.
{From 1962 through 2016, 11 Interstellar Radio Mesessage projects (IRMPs) transmitted 50+ messages out across the universe from earth. In 1996, a unique happenstance occured when the convergence of sound wave files during a studio recording session for the band Vibe 45, revealed an anomaly in the form of a high frequency sound wave blip registering at an astonishing 180k Hz (detectable only by the Alosa Saspidissima aka the American Shad) through a customized Crappatoe transducer equipped with a panoramic floppycack jacker. The evidence file was shared with Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen for a forensic analysis. Dr. Culvitude disaggregated the wave structure using a four dimensional, parabolic floppycack translator and the results were astonishing. The blip unveiled irrefutable evidence of a Percussive Universal Soundwave, or P.U.S., which surreptitiously, included a complex linguistic code, patterned to form the following words: "We Want The Funk", an extraterrestrial response conveying Alien displeasure related to the 50+ boring messages sent, and a plea to the band members of Vibe 45 to send them some ball knocking, Parliament style grooves in the next transmission. Dr. Culvitude mysteriously disappeared in 2001 and his sound popping theory showcasing P.U.S. was never formally published.
{From 1962 through 2016, 11 Interstellar Radio Mesessage projects (IRMPs) transmitted 50+ messages out across the universe from earth. In 1996, a unique happenstance occured when the convergence of sound wave files during a studio recording session for the band Vibe 45, revealed an anomaly in the form of a high frequency sound wave blip registering at an astonishing 180k Hz (detectable only by the Alosa Saspidissima aka the American Shad) through a customized Crappatoe transducer equipped with a panoramic floppycack jacker. The evidence file was shared with Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen for a forensic analysis. Dr. Culvitude disaggregated the wave structure using a four dimensional, parabolic floppycack translator and the results were astonishing. The blip unveiled irrefutable evidence of a Percussive Universal Soundwave, or P.U.S., which surreptitiously, included a complex linguistic code, patterned to form the following words: "We Want The Funk", an extraterrestrial response conveying Alien displeasure related to the 50+ boring messages sent, and a plea to the band members of Vibe 45 to send them some ball knocking, Parliament style grooves in the next transmission. Dr. Culvitude mysteriously disappeared in 2001 and his sound popping theory showcasing P.U.S. was never formally published.
1. Scientists recently detected a Percussive Universal Soundwave from an unknown source in the universe.
2. {Dr. Culvitude shows his floppycack package to D Dog of Vibe 45 and explains} "D Dog, you are not going to believe this. The blip is a Percussive Universal Soundwave, and, when I decrypted the pattern into language, you can actually hear alien voices chanting "We Want the Funk!!"
2. {Dr. Culvitude shows his floppycack package to D Dog of Vibe 45 and explains} "D Dog, you are not going to believe this. The blip is a Percussive Universal Soundwave, and, when I decrypted the pattern into language, you can actually hear alien voices chanting "We Want the Funk!!"
by Charitable Disguise January 8, 2020
Get the Percussive Universal Soundwave mug.An experiential rite of passage for graduate students wherein the immersion into ancient, thermal, translucent seminal fluid filled Hungarian caverns transforms dissonant, quasi-intellectual brain cells into a hyper-aligned neural configuration, inducing a genius level information processing, multi-dimensional innovation & superior emotional agility.
{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.
{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.
1. "Jason, what is that shimmering oily film on top of the water? Is that supposed to be part of the 'Cave Bathing' experience?" Yes, D Dog, now quit looking at that hairy couple in a primordial carnal exchange, and dunk your sack in the Cave Bath.
2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."
2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."
by Charitable Disguise January 25, 2020
Get the Cave Bathing mug.A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 2, 2020
Get the Stiff Element mug.The original etymological root word for the modernized term = Politician.
The profession and practice of willingly engaging in relationships, behaviors, affairs and deceitful tactics for the purpose of self promotion/gain/sexual gratification through profiteering, theft, criminal enterprising and the cloaked instantiation of illicit/fraudulent activities without regard for harm, impairment and/or disability inflicted upon others.
{Background and Context}
Upon return from a research expedition in the aboriginal territory of Korkycow Australia, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen delivered a lexicon postulate based on revelations from ancient scrolls and audio-phonic linguistic interpretations stemming from his interactions with the Hunterbiden Microcock Pygmalion Tribe. Dr. Culvitude was attempting to decode a scroll illustrating a smiling, garment rich man holding the heart of another person standing nearby, when a bitter feisty, belly scourged Pygmy pointed at the picture, clearly anunciating the word "Pirat-ician" with a heavy oriental accent. Dr. Culvitude phoned his partner Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of this revelation wherein it would serve as proof of Culvitudes conjecture on the transcontinental, English modernization and pronunciation of "Politician" which actually evolved from the Latin word "Pirata" combined with "ician", or "Piratician".
The profession and practice of willingly engaging in relationships, behaviors, affairs and deceitful tactics for the purpose of self promotion/gain/sexual gratification through profiteering, theft, criminal enterprising and the cloaked instantiation of illicit/fraudulent activities without regard for harm, impairment and/or disability inflicted upon others.
{Background and Context}
Upon return from a research expedition in the aboriginal territory of Korkycow Australia, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen delivered a lexicon postulate based on revelations from ancient scrolls and audio-phonic linguistic interpretations stemming from his interactions with the Hunterbiden Microcock Pygmalion Tribe. Dr. Culvitude was attempting to decode a scroll illustrating a smiling, garment rich man holding the heart of another person standing nearby, when a bitter feisty, belly scourged Pygmy pointed at the picture, clearly anunciating the word "Pirat-ician" with a heavy oriental accent. Dr. Culvitude phoned his partner Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of this revelation wherein it would serve as proof of Culvitudes conjecture on the transcontinental, English modernization and pronunciation of "Politician" which actually evolved from the Latin word "Pirata" combined with "ician", or "Piratician".
"Dr. Damone, the Pygmy chief clearly said the word "Piratician" when trying to tell me about how a once friendly tribe deceived them, took their food reserves, fingered our Matriarchs and returned with an affect of innocence as if nary an expression of remorse."
by Charitable Disguise May 2, 2020
Get the Piratician mug.A rare psychiatric disorder wherein the intentional, premeditated act of inhaling the scent of an individual for purposes of olfactory gratification, induces an unwelcoming, untamable, primordial erection, so intense that blood flow to the hippocampus (memory recall) is temporarily depleted, thus resulting in the onset of incoherent verbal communications and an overall affect of non-accountable bafoonery, stemming from a neuropathic fugue.
In the early 1990's, and during the era of the band Vibe 45, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen began his studies on the impacts of alternative music on human behavior, with a specific focus on the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit," by Nirvana. Curious patterns emerged from the data as Culvitude plotted the manifestation of exacerbated mannerisms elicited by politicians and statesmen, with their constituents during media events. Culvitude initially formed a narrow perspective, and the commonly known phrase "Boner Cloaking", to explain how, in public gatherings, politicians would smell the hair from the opposite sex, conjure up an erection (boner), then quickly immerse/hide in the crowd (cloaking), so as to not reveal their affliction. Culvitude and his partner, Dr. Kevin Michael Damone from Korkyville, would later present the full extent of their research on years of Boner Cloaking observations and what is now known as "Scentophilia", publishing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders under code JOeB-1Dn.
In the early 1990's, and during the era of the band Vibe 45, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen began his studies on the impacts of alternative music on human behavior, with a specific focus on the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit," by Nirvana. Curious patterns emerged from the data as Culvitude plotted the manifestation of exacerbated mannerisms elicited by politicians and statesmen, with their constituents during media events. Culvitude initially formed a narrow perspective, and the commonly known phrase "Boner Cloaking", to explain how, in public gatherings, politicians would smell the hair from the opposite sex, conjure up an erection (boner), then quickly immerse/hide in the crowd (cloaking), so as to not reveal their affliction. Culvitude and his partner, Dr. Kevin Michael Damone from Korkyville, would later present the full extent of their research on years of Boner Cloaking observations and what is now known as "Scentophilia", publishing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders under code JOeB-1Dn.
{Two friends watching TV} "Dude, why is that senator smelling that little girls hair for like ten minutes straight?" {Friend Replies} Didn't you know that the senator is 'Scentophile'? Its a classic DSM-MD case of JOeB-Dn.!"
by Charitable Disguise May 16, 2020
Get the Scentophile mug.Derived from the words Ethnicity + Hypnotized, Ethnicitized is the intentional act of modifying, transforming & dispositioning ones identity from self, into a psychomorphic, hyperdouched state of being wherein the individual choreographs & elicits social/behavioral patterns, designed to personify the mannerisms, dialect & slang of a target ethic group, to gain acceptance, favor, goods, services &/or alliance oriented popularity for reasons of political advancement.
Over time, the repetitious execution of such tactics results in an amnesiac cerebal impressioning of temporal permanence, accompanied by a spontaneous, involuntary, visceral, schizophrenic, socially triggered personality change, unbeknownst to the individual, but completely obvious to others.
Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen returned to the Coyote Lakes psychiatric hospital to inform Dr. Kevin Michael Damone and Pro-Fessor Campbell about his findings on the Baptits Foundation & the unethical microcosm of Flakycock councilmen who posed as religious figureheads, fronting theological prowess so as to steal pensions from Ernie, Menden & 300+ victims. Culvitude viewed 20yrs of data, overlaying R score models on data sets, receiving a confidence trigger during a presidential candidate interview in 2020, when the incumbent (Anglo Saxon) performed his unique, Corn Pop gangsta style talk with well educated/astute African American interviewers. Thus, the condition - 'Ethnicitized' was born. DSM-5 code: j0E-bIdN-cM0n:mAn
Over time, the repetitious execution of such tactics results in an amnesiac cerebal impressioning of temporal permanence, accompanied by a spontaneous, involuntary, visceral, schizophrenic, socially triggered personality change, unbeknownst to the individual, but completely obvious to others.
Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen returned to the Coyote Lakes psychiatric hospital to inform Dr. Kevin Michael Damone and Pro-Fessor Campbell about his findings on the Baptits Foundation & the unethical microcosm of Flakycock councilmen who posed as religious figureheads, fronting theological prowess so as to steal pensions from Ernie, Menden & 300+ victims. Culvitude viewed 20yrs of data, overlaying R score models on data sets, receiving a confidence trigger during a presidential candidate interview in 2020, when the incumbent (Anglo Saxon) performed his unique, Corn Pop gangsta style talk with well educated/astute African American interviewers. Thus, the condition - 'Ethnicitized' was born. DSM-5 code: j0E-bIdN-cM0n:mAn
{Friends discussing politics} "Dude, I am watching an interview with this 77 year old white guy running for president, and he keeps using this weird slang, and this odd tone of voice, as if he is trying to sound like he is from some tribe. {Friend Responds} "Yeah, that guy is totally 'Ethnicitized', trying to pretend that he is African American to an African American audience. Its quite comical. Oh, also, did you know that he knuckle-dunked his fingers into an intern's vagina too, because, well, "he thought she liked him."
by Charitable Disguise May 24, 2020
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