Carl J. Maltese's definitions

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Law-enforcement Division.

Fictional super-spy organization from Marvel Comics' "Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD"

This "organization" also provided a thread of continuity within nearly all of Marvel Comics' titles from the mid-1960's until the early 1990's.

"Just as it looked like the end for Captain America, a helicopter full of SHIELD agents showed up in the nick of time!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007

howard stern

The greatest DJ who ever lived. Period.
The only man with any guts to stand-up to the Powers-That-Be and tell the uncensored truth!
The first truly alternative morning radio show worth listening to, as compared to the "Morning Zoo Crews."
The only one worth listening to.
The ONE!

"Howard Stern has the distinct honor of having a public rest-room named after him on the Jersey Turnpike!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007

the joy of meaningless studies

What you experience in junior college, community college, and/or beauty school.

"After twelve+ years of elementary-junior-senior-high-school and an exciting job in the lucrative field of fast food preperation, I just can't wait to experience the joy of meaningless studies in junior college!"

by Carl J. Maltese July 16, 2007

toasterphobia

Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!

Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"

Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007

World War III

Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."

There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.

The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein

by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007

chrome covered cuntmobile

1) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car designed soley for attracting shallow minded women.

2) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car driven by a pimp.

Tim: "Check-out Danny In is chrome covered cuntmobile!"

John: "Think He'll pick-up chicks in that thing?"

Tim: "Hell! You already know he's a pimp with ten years experience!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 17, 2007

Eastasia

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984." Eastasia consists of China, Mongolia, India, parts of the middle-east not occupied by Eurasia, Indochina, Malaysia, New Guinea, Korea, all the Japanese islands, and all the remaining pacific islands not occupied by Oceania. A description of their flag is unknown.
All three superstates have the exact same styles of government, with the same ideologies, but with different names. Oceania calls it "Ingsoc" (English Socialism in newspeak), Eurasia calls it "Neo-Bolshevism," and the Eastasian term translates as "death-of-the-self."
Ostensibly, the three superstates are waging continuous war for the contol of Central Africa, Madagasgar, the middle-east, Indochina, and the north and south polar ice caps.

See also: Oceania, Eurasia, 1984, and George Orwell.

"We are at war with Eastasia. We've always been at war with Eastasia."

by Carl J. Maltese April 24, 2007