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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

ass hole

An orifice that ladies and gentlemen use to take dumps and blow binderfenders.

An orifice that a poofter uses like a lollipop.
Miss Livingston looked both ways, then blew a binderfender out of her ass hole, which frightened all the birds from the trees. Miss Livingston said "Oh, dear."

Trent the corn-holing poofter licked Creighton's ass hole like it was a chocolate ice cream cone. Then he licked his chops and said, "Oh, how tasty."
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 4, 2008
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automatic

A type of automobile transmission used by old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.

You can spot cars with automatic transmissions as you drive on any road. The drivers step on the brakes for random cosmic events. If they see a fuzz, they step on the brakes. If they see a car pull up to a side street, they step on the brakes. If they come to an intersection, they step on the brakes. If they see a crow, they step on the brakes.

The repeated brake lights warn all stick shift drivers that a totally incompetent "driver" is operating the car.
No man with any self respect would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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goose egg

An egg soaked for several weeks in gasoline or kerosene. This process liquifies the sulfur in the egg yolk and blends it with the sulfur in the fuel. When thrown at someone's house or car, a goose egg releases a stench most foul.

Teens in the 1950s commonly made and used goose eggs. The high cost of gasoline has made the procedure too expensive for a good prank.
Ernie and Bob cruised around on Friday night lobbing goose eggs on all their teachers' houses.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005
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horse face

Look at that horse face over there. Looks like Hillary's spawn.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005
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PDA

A hand-held electronic device used by yuppie twits to draw attention and admiration to themselves at meetings. Although the device does little more than a notebook and pen, yuppies and soccer moms are very impressed by them.
Scrodney was the center of attention with her new PDA. All the yuppies were very excited about it, and Scrodney scored many points.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 14, 2006
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left lane hog

An inconsiderate slob who drives in the left lane and won't move over to let anyone pass.

A left lane dick. A left lamer.
A long line of soccer moms in their SUVs followed the left lane hog. Each one was waiting for her chance to be first in line.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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Politically Correct Assault Rifle

A lever action carbine. It is fast, accurate, and an excellent weapon for self defense. Since it is a typical hunting rifle, most pantywaist liberals do not whine about it and plead for it to be banned.
The Marlin 1894 is an excellent Politically Correct Assault Rifle. It comes in several excellent self-defense calibers that are great for blowing down Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, and other criminals. Sissy pants liberals who say they don't mind hunting can't whine about this fine hunting rifle.
A lever action Marlin in .45-70 is the ultimate Politically Correct Assault Rifle. It will destroy the engine in a Pachuco boy's low rider.
by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008
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