Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

beat your pud

To tap your log. Beat your meat. Choke your chicken. Flong your dong.

If you would like to beat your pud with a group of fine liberal gentlemen, go play circle jerk with a bunch of corn holing, butt eating faggots. Poofters love to help you beat your pud

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

splooie contest

A game, played by butt eating faggots, where a group of poofters all flong their dongs at the same time. First one finished is the winner.

Talbert, Winthrop, Swinburne, and Bruce had a splooie contest in the park, right next to the duck pond. Winthrop won.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 23, 2007

flong your dong

Beat your pud.
Beat your meat.
Beat off.
Tap your log.

If you would like to flong your dong with a group of liberal gentlemen, go play circle jerk with some simpering fags. They love to beat their puds together on the street corner.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

Tap your Log

To beat your pud. That thing that faggots do in a group on Saturday afternoons in the park.

Percival and Lemony agree that the park is a fine place to tap your log.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 23, 2007

suicide knob

A knob attached to the rim of a steering wheel that enables a driver to turn the wheel by moving the knob. Very common in the late 1940s and through the 1950s. Illegal in most places since then. Also called a nigger knob.

Ermal has a suicide knob on the steering wheel of his Case tractor. He decided to put one on the wheel of his Pontiac, too, so he could spoon with Ida Mae while he drives.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

Congestion Fee

A Congestion Fee is yet another tax scheme devised by limp-wristed liberals to crush the working poor. The liberals charge a Congestion Fee to drive a car on a designated roadway during certain hours. The liberals say that charging this fee will get people to stop driving and take public transportation. Of course, rich people and dual-income Yuppies don't mind paying the fee, because they have money coming out their arse. But the working poor and single-income families will be crushed by the fees.

Many large cities are considering charging a Congestion Fee to drive on busy streets during rush hours. The limp-wristed liberal mush wimps want to charge these fees to force the working poor to take public transportation. And of course, public transportation in many cities is filled with hip hop idiots playing their ghetto blasters and threatening honest citizens with bodily harm.

Congestion Fees are just like another liberal desire: 5-dollar-a-gallon gasoline. Rich fat cats and dual-income Yuppies don't mind it, but it smashes the working poor.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007

Public Transportation

A means of urban transportation used mainly by the underprivileged and the working poor

Public Transportation in many cities is a rolling crime wave. Muggers, Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, Hip Hop assholes, Gangstas, A-Rabs, and other criminals ride public transportation with their ghetto blasters blaring. They challenge honest working stiffs, force them to stand, steal their money, and make them listen to evil Hip Hop "music."

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007