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Definitions by Cap'n Awesome

intelltextual 

Somebody trying way too hard to be smart via SMS. Types out the entire word, or uses too many words to express a simple thought.
Texter 1: sup man how r u
Texter 2: I'm doing very well! How are you, my friend?

Texter 1: do u guys like paramore
Texter 2: While I have to admit that I find them almost infectiously catchy, any thoughtful examination reveals vapid, trite lyrics and simple arrangements.
Texter 3: not rly

Texter 1: boy i sure love the novels texter 2 sends me
Texter 3: hes so intelltextual lol
intelltextual by Cap'n Awesome March 28, 2009
An Ipod, or any electronic media player, filled with gigs and gigs of emo, shoegaze, screamcore, or any kind of music assosiated with sad white kids.
He was trying to be friendly, and offered me his Nano, in case there was anything I'd like to listen to. Thirty seconds of scrolling through his cry pod quickly confirmed that we would probably have very little in common.
cry pod by Cap'n Awesome August 28, 2006

Do a barrel roll! 

Comes from Starfox 64. A character would command fox to do a barrel roll in order to prevent being shot to deadness.

A barrel roll is when a fighter pilot makes his ship turn over, very quickly, in mid-air. It makes the wings harder to hit.

It's more common practice to shout this phrase at friends while they play video games. Especially if they can't do anything roll-like. The purpose is to be obnoxious, and quote old video games. Two of most peoples' favorite things.
"Son of a white boy, my Sim will not stop crying!"
"Quick, do a barrel roll!"
In pool, to hit the cue ball first, and break the triangle of balls. Usually determines whether a person is playing stripes or solids.

Also means to give change for a large bill.
1. Brad's gonna lose anyway, so you might as well let him break.

2. Kathy: I need your $3.50
Cj: Can you break a ten?
break by Cap'n Awesome April 15, 2006
September 11th. The term implies that the attacks of 9/11 were actually something of a gift, or celebration.
Merry Planesmas, New York!
planesmas by Cap'n Awesome September 24, 2005

Darwin Awards 

An "award" given to people who contribute the most to the evolution of humanity by removing their genes from the gene pool. Sometimes given to people who simply sterilize themselves, but most of the recipiants have ended up dead because of their actions.

Basically, the concept is that people kill/injure themselves to the point where reproduction is no longer possible whilst doing something surrealistically stupid. By insuring that their stupid genes to not spread, they ultimately help humanity and thus recieve an award.

While the concept is funny enough, the actual awards are usually very mean spirited.
1) (n) A silky-smooth combination of sugar, milk, eggs, and flour baked at 375 for thirty minutes. Covered in frosting and given to beautiful people.
2) (n) A prize; something valuable won by a group.
3. (v) To own.
4. (adj) Weak.
5. (n) Stuff. Used in conjunction with the word "my." "stuff" and "cake" are interchangable.
6. (N) A band. Indie kids like them.
7. (v) to leave, only appropriate as a command and followed by the word "off."
1. My mommy made me a cake :)
2. Oh man, don't even think you're keeping that cake, not the whole hundred bucks. I think about twenty to each of us sounds about fair.
3. ...so he was drivin' past me and I was like, nah, fool, I'ma cake yo ass!
4. Dude, you sleep with her T-shirt? You are such a little pansy! Oh snap, how whipped. That's seriously cake, dude.
5. Stop rummaging through my cake, jerk! Do I need to lock up everything I own?
6. I was gonna go see Cake at Buzzfest, but they were playing with LostProphets. I decided it'd be more fun to eat my own soul.
7. Son, you best cake off. Betta walk right out that door.
cake by Cap'n Awesome May 15, 2005