A satanic sexual pleasure device worn during the 1800's to increase a mans orgasm. The device houses a hole for the male's penis, aswell as two lead weights on either side. These weights, when pulled up and released, drive into the testicles of the user. The blinding pain, aswell as orgasming, shows the true meaning of "Pain for Pleasure".
However due to health risks of imploding genitails, the fabrication of this device was halted.
Named after its creator, Colm J. Ruddger Cochrane, the Cochrane, or Cock-Ram
was a major hit in the opium bars around the time. Only allowed to be preformed in the company of three or more gentleman.
Thou hast seen thyself cochraning on a dubious amount of thine time. 1800's
My uncle Cyrus tried out an old Cochrane, but after the blood-curdling screams I knew something wasn't quite right.
September 21, 2008
A silencer is a make-shift product to allow quiet, shameless defecations in public toilets.
A silencer is when a person bunches up a bit of toilet paper, and quickly places it in the water retaining part of the toilet bowl.
Thus, was a foreign object (fecial matter) drops into the toilet, there is no splash, and therefore no noise is created, allowing the person to walk confidently out without being given terrible terrible looks.
One downside to this is that it does not protect the person from their own gaseous discharge before the act of defecation.
Guy 1 - "Oh gosh, oh golly, I gonna crap myself,......, but I cant let anyone know im doing it, because,......., Ive been eating nothing but Indian curries and beans!, ......, oh god, its crowning!!!!!!!"
Guy 2 - "Hey buster, dont worry, use a silencer, its fine man, honestly, in Silencer we trust"
Guy 1 - "Than........ (fart)...... i gotta g-....... whoa nelly!"
November 09, 2009
This word derives from an ancient Gaelic language from the Irish Isles before the arrival of the pillaging Vikings. Its true meaning has been lost through the evolving language, but was ment to declare a mentally challanged child, Or retarded Lug
if you will.
Ri means "extremely" in Gaelic whilst "ghan" means forsaken (by the high druids). The "o" is simply a sign to show that the individuals would usually have an open mouth, drooling whilst trying to talk, which was also quite difficult.
The healer who dealt with this basic neanderthals were called Nessa's or Shibha's (The older and lonely one).
Rioghan or Rioghani
made life better in the villages and camps because no matter how bad life was for the rest, at least they wern't a Rioghan.
Oh my goodness, that Stupid Rioghan drooled all over my sheets.
Lets bet up a Rioghan cause it will make us feel better and then lets ride Nessa.
Rioghan is a Retard, but i wouldn't mind laying into a nice Maggie.
September 22, 2008
A boland, or bolandiumii in plural, is a fungal infection that affects the tissue around the lavia for the woman. The infection does not affect males.
Its symptoms are as follows,
1) Cough, Headache
2) Sweaty pubic area
3) Foul Smell (like rotten eggs)
4) A blotchy rash (yellow to orange in complexion)
5) Pussuiles (spots of underlying puss)
Doctors admit that there is no cure, and CERN estimates that 1 in 150 people in the British Isles have this.Treatment is available, but due to the scraping off of the scabs, and the loss of parts of the lavia, many learn to live with "The Boland"
Mother - "Doctor, is it alright, spare me the mumbo-jumbo of it all, how IS my daughter?"
Docter - "There is no easy way for me to say this, but .... sigh.... you daughter..... has "The Boland" "
Mother - (vomits profusely) "NOOOOOO!!" (continues to vomit)
November 08, 2009
A Tris-Blig is technically fecial matter covered in the inner anus' blood. Known in slang as a "cherry raisin", a Tris can be devistating to any sufferer of Bligovtrophy.
First noted by Sir Christopher Jenkins J. Bligh esq. in the English city of Morecombe, as peasents scuttled down the side-streets and alley-ways holding handfuls of bloody human excrement after a chimp had infected the local water source with is gangernous
elbow. Sir C. Bligh was rumoured to .... and I quote "Oh Winston, looks like they are dabbling in the devil's period. Oh the horrors, but its gruesomely funny"
Videos of such a disease exist, naming for example 1 man 1 jar.
A Tris-Blig is not to be mistaken with a Bris
Benedict - Oh poppycock Alfred, I seem to have acquired a small case of Tris-Blig!
Alfred - Sir, I......, what on Earth have you been doing?.... There is blood everywhere!!! Its down the back of your long-johns!!! And the smell is unphathomable!!! Joseph, Mary and Jesus in a shoe box, how did this happen?? Its even on the hall curtains!!!
Benedict - I do not feel, how you say, over the moon?
Alfred - ......
January 27, 2011
A treacy, or treacius sillicus in latin, is an act of mistake, that happens to 1 out of 14 of us reports NASA.
When a man is having loving sexual intercourse with his partner, A treacy is when for some unexpected reason, the man sneezes whilst ejaculating and by a serious of unfortunate events, he unwillingly relaxs his anus muscle (the glorious sphinter muscle), and deficates on or around his partner, (soon to be Ex).
Jim Boy - "Hey, did you hear that Colin pulled a treacy in Jacinta last night after we left the indian restraunt?" Claude - "Oh no, Jimbo.... Was she alright? .... After the last time I thought we lost her!"
November 08, 2009
A Conway is an object of great size (mainly width) that passes with considerable pain out the anal canal (Anus canalium).
A Conway gets its name from the literal parts;
1) Con - A negative aspect - As in the case of faeces, with it being extremely hard, wide, and maybe even nutty. Terrible hazardous to the rectum.
2) Way - The Passage - This refers to the rectum and the anal mouth.
Therefore, by conglomerizing these two definitions together, we get CONWAY, which is when a big ol' hard crusty shite is passed through the anal canal, where the turd rips the lining of the anus.
The International Anus Awareness Group (the IAAG) says that this happens to 1 in 13 Guadaluapians, and unfortunately it is increasing rapidly among 20 to 30 year olds.
Docters say that it is the third highest killer of people when on the toilet, after heart-attacks and premature ejaculation accidents, which claims 1 in 6.
Guy 1 - "Hey man, ..... (Sigh)....., can I talk to you?"Guy 2 - "Sure thing homes"Guy 1 - "Last night, I did a CONWAY, ......., and well, ......., i cant do anything, can't sit down, and give my mom my dirty clothes to wear......"
Guy 2 - "Conway? what the hells that? why cant you sit down? dirty clothes, whats this about, ......, your not gay are you homes?"
Guy 1 - "No, no man, I ate a lot of really nutty foods, i mean REAL nutty foods, and, well ..... last night I was on the can dreaming of being the next Kevin Costner, and when I shit, the pain was terrifying, and when I looked down, there was blood everywhere, on the bowl, on the door, on the ceiling, and down my legs! I was making the flag of japan all night with the tissue paper"
Guy 2 - "What the ....... bleghhhh (Vomiting up his TV dinner from last night), ...... (Gasp) ....... but how.......... Bllleeeggghhhhhh---- ah---- bleggh (continues to vomit).......... (gasp) ...... on the ceiling?...... *DUFGH* (collapses in his own vomit)"
November 13, 2009