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Bumkicker Slade's definitions

finagle

To obtain something desired by bargaining, wheedling, and dealing.
Meyer finagled a band for the Bar Mitzvah. "So how did he get that trombone player?" asked Mrs. Fine sotto voce.
by Bumkicker Slade May 10, 2005
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goat pictures

A speculative reason why a despicable, two-faced person remains employed.

The unseen picture supposedly portrays the person in question engaged in faggoty behavior with a goat.
Q: Melvin is such a worthless slime. How does he keep his job here?

A: He probably has goat pictures of the boss.
by Bumkicker Slade May 7, 2005
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the chewbacca defense

Johnny Cochrane's defense.

Don't worry about it. Johnny's dead.
If you play chess with Chewbacca, you must lose. That's the Chewbacca defense: Let the wookie win.
by Bumkicker Slade May 13, 2005
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Mormon

A self-righteous person who feels right at home working as a tax collector or a security clearance inspector.

One of the self-righteous, inhospitable persons who follows me up and down the aisles of a market when I shop for groceries in Utah.

A Utah resident who, upon seeing my big white beard, treats me like a pariah.

A person who, having never read the Bible, believes that Jesus is Satan's brother, that God has a few million wives, that couples stay married after death, that the dead can be baptised into the faith, and that it is perfectly good business to cheat gentiles.
Heber is a Mormon. He religiously screws gentiles in all his business dealings and often mistreats the wives.
by Bumkicker Slade April 24, 2005
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twerp

A person who sits in the bathtub and collects farts in bottles.

He does this by filling a bottle with water and, while holding the bottle underwater, displaces the water inside it with intestinal gas. The bottle should be capped quickly, then labeled with the born-on date and any other pertinant data.

This technique was invented by Eichler Stench in Castro Valley, California, in the mid-1950s. He had an amazing collection of bottles well into his forties. He often carried a bottle or two to fend off Pachuco boys who wanted to beat him up. When faced with a bottle of July 17, 1958, even the most vile and greasy-haired Pachuco would turn and run.

Eichler Stench was last seen in Pacific Palisades, California.
Eichler Stench was the most prolific twerp I've ever known. He once showed my son his impressive collection of bottled farts.
by Bumkicker Slade April 24, 2005
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low rider

Transportation for stupid people who wish to telegraph their low IQs to the world.
Pablo and Juan cruised North Main in a low rider.
by Bumkicker Slade May 7, 2005
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possum

What everyone should eat mo of.
Eat mo possum. It's great in a stew.
by Bumkicker Slade May 7, 2005
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