Definitions by Bottom Ford

Jello suicide 

When you are trying to eat Jello in an impaired state and it jumps to its death somewhere below the dish.

“Did any of that Jello get into your mouth?”

“No, it was a Jello suicide.”

Jello suicide by Bottom Ford April 3, 2010

The Bourne Redundancy 

1. The title of Matt Damon’s new spy thriller.

2. May refer to any extraneous or inferior movie sequel.

“You seen that new Matt Damon flick?”

“The Bourne Redundancy? Derivative, man.”

The Bourne Redundancy by Bottom Ford March 14, 2010

extravirg 

One of those annoying virgins who is super-friendly

Bottom went to his class reunion, which had been organized by an extravirg with nothing better to do.

extravirg by Bottom Ford March 4, 2010

hurled 

“Hurled” is a fine substitute for any “world” prefixing something you don’t like.

That “world” music is really “hurled” music if you ask me.

hurled by Bottom Ford March 1, 2010

Begmore 

1. A utopian distiller of single-malt scotch that would be located on the Isle of Islay if it existed.

2. A figurative single-malt scotch that, when consumed by house pets, causes them to demand more treats and attention than they deserve.

“Your dog won't keep his nose out of my dinner. He’s been hitting the Begmore too hard.”

Begmore by Bottom Ford January 4, 2010

Scotch-tape skies 

A weather condition frequently seen in family photographs of a certain age, brought on by the ill-considered use of Scotch tape in scrapbooks and picture frames.

I found a photograph of Grandma sitting in her roadster under Scotch-tape skies.

Scotch-tape skies by Bottom Ford January 2, 2010

reef rash 

Abrasion caused by contact with rocks/reef in a surfing accident.

"Dig Bottom's reef rash. He wiped out bad."

reef rash by Bottom Ford September 18, 2009