Bottom Ford's definitions

micro hobby

A hobby you spend hardly any time on, but that you claim because you bought the gear.

Bottom says he’s taken up bodyboarding, but it’s just a vacation micro hobby.

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

Mill Creek, WA

The world’s best hiding place. You would never go there expecting to find someone interesting. Zero stalkers. Zero paparazzi. Zero vampires.

“I heard Matt Damon bought a house in Mill Creek, WA.”
“Smart move. No one will look for him there.”

by Bottom Ford May 4, 2010

reef rash

Abrasion caused by contact with rocks/reef in a surfing accident.

"Dig Bottom's reef rash. He wiped out bad."

by Bottom Ford September 18, 2009

lingua fracas

1. The few words one knows in another language sufficient to start a fight.

2. A fight over the proper use of a word.

1. Bottom doesn’t speak Spanish; he only knows enough of the lingua fracas to get into trouble.

2. “ ‘Impact’ is a verb only in the lingua fracas.”
“You mean, like, when my fist impacts your face?”

by Bottom Ford May 1, 2010

mosquito tinnitus

A ringing in the ears that sounds like a hovering mosquito, brought on by the anticipation that mosquitoes WILL begin to torment you just as you are dozing off.

I spent half the night swatting mosquitoes that weren’t there. Guess it was just mosquito tinnitus.

by Bottom Ford August 21, 2010

preemptive mimicry

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

mattress worship

Refers to the decision to stay in bed when you are too tired to get up and go to church.

“Bottom doesn’t go to church; he prefers mattress worship.”

by Bottom Ford April 18, 2010