Bottom Ford's definitions

Begmore

1. A utopian distiller of single-malt scotch that would be located on the Isle of Islay if it existed.

2. A figurative single-malt scotch that, when consumed by house pets, causes them to demand more treats and attention than they deserve.

“Your dog won't keep his nose out of my dinner. He’s been hitting the Begmore too hard.”

by Bottom Ford January 4, 2010

Jello suicide

When you are trying to eat Jello in an impaired state and it jumps to its death somewhere below the dish.

“Did any of that Jello get into your mouth?”

“No, it was a Jello suicide.”

by Bottom Ford April 3, 2010

Scotch-tape skies

A weather condition frequently seen in family photographs of a certain age, brought on by the ill-considered use of Scotch tape in scrapbooks and picture frames.

I found a photograph of Grandma sitting in her roadster under Scotch-tape skies.

by Bottom Ford January 2, 2010

preemptive mimicry

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

veggie del norte

1. vegetables that have migrated so far north they have become frozen.
2. Any kind of frozen vegetable.

Bottom doesn’t have any fresh salad fixings, but he can serve veggie del norte anytime.

by Bottom Ford May 2, 2010

extravirg

One of those annoying virgins who is super-friendly

Bottom went to his class reunion, which had been organized by an extravirg with nothing better to do.

by Bottom Ford March 4, 2010

hurled

“Hurled” is a fine substitute for any “world” prefixing something you don’t like.

That “world” music is really “hurled” music if you ask me.

by Bottom Ford March 1, 2010