Bottom Ford's definitions

preemptive mimicry

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

mosquito tinnitus

A ringing in the ears that sounds like a hovering mosquito, brought on by the anticipation that mosquitoes WILL begin to torment you just as you are dozing off.

I spent half the night swatting mosquitoes that weren’t there. Guess it was just mosquito tinnitus.

by Bottom Ford August 21, 2010

reef rash

Abrasion caused by contact with rocks/reef in a surfing accident.

"Dig Bottom's reef rash. He wiped out bad."

by Bottom Ford September 18, 2009

lingua fracas

1. The few words one knows in another language sufficient to start a fight.

2. A fight over the proper use of a word.

1. Bottom doesn’t speak Spanish; he only knows enough of the lingua fracas to get into trouble.

2. “ ‘Impact’ is a verb only in the lingua fracas.”
“You mean, like, when my fist impacts your face?”

by Bottom Ford May 1, 2010

grabity

A natural force that causes one creature to grab or grope another.

Overcome by the force of grabity, Bottom sank his claws into the bunny’s flesh.

“I would not,” he explained to the bunny, “invade your personal space in this way, were it not for the force of grabity.”

by Bottom Ford April 19, 2010

extravirg

One of those annoying virgins who is super-friendly

Bottom went to his class reunion, which had been organized by an extravirg with nothing better to do.

by Bottom Ford March 4, 2010

The Bourne Redundancy

1. The title of Matt Damon’s new spy thriller.

2. May refer to any extraneous or inferior movie sequel.

“You seen that new Matt Damon flick?”

“The Bourne Redundancy? Derivative, man.”

by Bottom Ford March 14, 2010