Truckwits: The Masters of the Open Road and Poor Decisions
A Truckwit is a highly specialized breed of heavy vehicle operator whose IQ appears to be directly proportional to the number of tires beneath them. This means your average 18 wheeler pilot is a certified genius at least in their own mind.
They travel in loosely organized herds, much like feral cats—unpredictable, occasionally cooperative, but mostly just doing their own thing. Their migratory patterns revolve around servo station hot boxes, where they engage in deep philosophical debates over the merits of an overcooked Chico Roll versus a lukewarm meat pie.
Despite the existence of modern navigation technology a Truckwit operates on an ancient, primal system known as gut instinct—which often results in them missing turns, doubling back, and aggressively insisting, “I know a shortcut!”
Communication with a Truckwit is best attempted via UHF 40, where they derive great pleasure from the sound of their own voice. However conversation can be challenging, as they have the listening skills of a goldfish on espresso. This becomes especially apparent when guiding them in tight spots.
For example, when directing a Truckwit to turn left, one must carefully phrase instructions:
"Left hand down! No, the other left! LEFT LEFT LEFT—oh just let Jesus take the wheel."
Yet for all their quirks Truckwits are the backbone of the economy, delivering the goods we all rely on-just maybe not always to the correct address.
A Truckwit is a highly specialized breed of heavy vehicle operator whose IQ appears to be directly proportional to the number of tires beneath them. This means your average 18 wheeler pilot is a certified genius at least in their own mind.
They travel in loosely organized herds, much like feral cats—unpredictable, occasionally cooperative, but mostly just doing their own thing. Their migratory patterns revolve around servo station hot boxes, where they engage in deep philosophical debates over the merits of an overcooked Chico Roll versus a lukewarm meat pie.
Despite the existence of modern navigation technology a Truckwit operates on an ancient, primal system known as gut instinct—which often results in them missing turns, doubling back, and aggressively insisting, “I know a shortcut!”
Communication with a Truckwit is best attempted via UHF 40, where they derive great pleasure from the sound of their own voice. However conversation can be challenging, as they have the listening skills of a goldfish on espresso. This becomes especially apparent when guiding them in tight spots.
For example, when directing a Truckwit to turn left, one must carefully phrase instructions:
"Left hand down! No, the other left! LEFT LEFT LEFT—oh just let Jesus take the wheel."
Yet for all their quirks Truckwits are the backbone of the economy, delivering the goods we all rely on-just maybe not always to the correct address.
by Boris_1986 March 31, 2025
by Boris_1986 February 08, 2024
To confuse, trick, mislead or stupefy a situation by using a cunning act or scheme. The person/s do not know they have been Fuadied until it is too late. The act is normally performed by someone with a lesser IQ than the victim.
James: Rob from accounting has told me that if i use cruise control on my car it will drive itself. Terry: mate you have been fuadied.
by Boris_1986 September 23, 2019
When you meet the woman of your dreams out partying and you can't believe you are so luck you tell her you love her and can't imagine your life without her so you go home and start passionate kissing that leads to finger banging her until you figure out you have pushed her tampon in 3/4 inches up her Virginia. Please note a really man will always apologise and say sorry this is my fault and remove the tampon and go down for the pasta sauce smile.
Hey sparky the woman was amazing last night, yeah took her home ended up doing a jointy I think we are getting married.
by Boris_1986 August 17, 2021
A defective football that is discontinued due to being over regulation width and weight. Time only increase the footballs defects. This ball is rumoured to be in circulation in the Australian NRL but was only used in childrens practice game due to the shape of the ball.
by Boris_1986 January 03, 2024
by Boris_1986 January 10, 2024