BlueXander's definitions

Urban Fisherman

Someone who makes impulsive fish-based purchases.

Mikey: "David... What are you holding?"
David: "A wooden plank with a fish painted on it!"
Mikey: "Why?..."
David: "Cmon dude, you know I'm an Urban Fisherman!"

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Designated Carryer

The friend who always has a bag on them and inevitably ends up carrying all of the groups shit.

David: "Hey dude, put this in your bag will ya?"
Sharon: "Oh, can you take this too?"
Paul: "Can you carry this for me as well?"
Mikey: "Why am I always the Designated Carryer?"

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

I'll pay you when I get paid

Something someone says with no intention of paying anyone back.

Mikey: "Alright David, here's your Triple Cheeseburger with Fries and a Coke. That's £12 total."
David: "I'll pay you when I get paid."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

The Franco-American Offensive

Putting aside all differences in order to pool resources and attack the British

David: "I was down the pub last night and saw an American and a Frenchman having a brawl."
Mikey: "So what'd you do?"
David: "Well I tried to break it up but they beat the shit out of me instead."
Mikey: "Ah, you're a victim of The Franco-American Offensive."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

ministrone

The title of an ordained Minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Mikey: "Hey David! I'm a Ministrone!"
David: "You're a fucking idiot."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Mesopotamia

A cute name to call your girlfriend.

Boyfriend: "Hey my Mesopotamia!"
Mesopotamia: "The fuck did you call me?"

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Primark Bag

Someone who is as weak as a paper bag from Primark

Friend 1: *taps Friend 2*
Friend 2: *shreds instantly*
Friend 1: "God, you're such a Primark Bag."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023