I'll pay you when I get paid

Something someone says with no intention of paying anyone back.

Mikey: "Alright David, here's your Triple Cheeseburger with Fries and a Coke. That's £12 total."
David: "I'll pay you when I get paid."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Homebrew

An unofficial additional item, race, class or feature in tabletop RPGs.

David: “Congratulations Mikey, you’ve found the daggers known as Flint and Steel!”
Mikey: “That’s not in any of the game manuals.”
David: “Yeah, that’s because it’s Homebrew.”

by BlueXander May 26, 2023

Urban Fisherman

Someone who makes impulsive fish-based purchases.

Mikey: "David... What are you holding?"
David: "A wooden plank with a fish painted on it!"
Mikey: "Why?..."
David: "Cmon dude, you know I'm an Urban Fisherman!"

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Mesopotamia

A cute name to call your girlfriend.

Boyfriend: "Hey my Mesopotamia!"
Mesopotamia: "The fuck did you call me?"

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Primark Bag

Someone who is as weak as a paper bag from Primark

Friend 1: *taps Friend 2*
Friend 2: *shreds instantly*
Friend 1: "God, you're such a Primark Bag."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023

Lawrence (Larry)

A pillow shaped like a fish.

David: "Hey Mikey, you remember telling me how you were an Urban Fisherman?
Mikey: "Yeah? What about it?"
David: "I found this pillow shaped like a fish."
Mikey: "I shall name him Lawrence (Larry)"

by BlueXander May 29, 2023

The Franco-American Offensive

Putting aside all differences in order to pool resources and attack the British

David: "I was down the pub last night and saw an American and a Frenchman having a brawl."
Mikey: "So what'd you do?"
David: "Well I tried to break it up but they beat the shit out of me instead."
Mikey: "Ah, you're a victim of The Franco-American Offensive."

by BlueXander May 25, 2023