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Blue Cawdrey's definitions

fleabag

Affectionate name for an old dog or cat.
Move over and let me sit down you old fleabag.
by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
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Wank mag

A magazine with mainly sexual content pictures and stories used when stimulating the wanking gland.
Him: Dammit the vicar saw my wank mags.
Her: You should not have left them out on the coffee table.
by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
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Treeware

Documents made of paper, like an anablog, in contrast to electronic documents.
Print out the treeware and we can send it via snail mail.
by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
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Dead man walking

US: A death row prisoner on his terminal walk to eternity inherites the unenviable title of 'dead man walking'.
As the prisoner set of for his last walk to the gas chamber the other con's slowly shook there heads from side to side and muttered 'dead man walking'.
by Blue Cawdrey November 21, 2004
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Mancunian

UK: A person from Manchester.

Manchester is a City in the North of England. Originally a Roman settlement the Romans wisely decided to leave it were it was and for hundreds of years it stayed dormant until it erupted like a festering boil during the Industrial Revolution.

The Mancunian women live on Council estates and give birth to between 4-12 young during a lifetime of 40-50 years when they die off from obecity, excessive smoking and atmospheric pollution.
The young are allowed to run free as soon as they learn to walk at an age of 2-3 weeks and spend most of their time stealing, vandalising and spray painting and generally breaking everything in sight.
Despite the occasional temporary appearance of a Mancunian male in these nests, the young are often violent unpredictable creatures and a cattle prod is needed for proper guidance.
On trying to get a female to control its offspring she makes the usual cry off 'eeesGotNoooowareToooGoww!’ and will attempt repeatedly to cross a pair of underdeveloped stubby little arms over her massive pair of overused jugs.
Suggesting perhaps occasionally sending him/her into school for the day elicits a similar response.
The Governments efforts to build schools, colleges, libraries, leisure centres, parks, community centres, crèches in the area and having the biggest football ground in the country still do not help the situation as the females never move far from their daytime soapy television sets to learn of these things.
If the young see such a structure they naturally assume it has been put there for spray painting and have little more to do with it once it is completely coated in brightly colored paint exept perhaps to scent mark it by defecating or urinating on it.
The females when not watching daytime soaps enjoy going to shopping centres and walking into people, this pastime is often enhaced by the use of shopping trollies or specially sharpened prams. Sometimes they may take a break from this to go shoplifting or feed the numerous little ones at a ‘Mc’Donalds’.

The Mancunian male lives on Lager Vouchers and spend their day grouped together in a watering hole called ‘the pub’ drinking Boddingtons a yellow liquid that may be the cause of a nervous affliction called the Bodingtons Twitch if drunk in sufficient quantities.
For sport they wait for strangers to enter the pub and play a game called ‘Northern Hospitality
Stage one Involves getting the stranger to answer a lot of questions and buy them all Bodingtons in vast quantities.
Stage two: Involves turning the back on the person and completely ignoring them except for chattering on like women do in the rest of the country and referring occaisionally to the now financially challenged stranger in the third person. This behaviour is common in most pubs in Manchester and quite well documented. The game is judged lost if the stranger manages to leave the pub with any money.
About 11.00pm they then go of to reproduce or sleep over at ‘mams’, failing that they will happily curl up in a ditch or under a sofa on a nest of empty beer cans, cider bottles, old newspaper and carrier bags till the pubs open again.

Fortunately Manchester is easy to spot from a distance as it lies in a bowl shape depression and from a distance the shimmering yellow layer of smog and smoke that builds up in this bowl due to gravity makes it easy to see and avoid.

Mancunians worship ‘Manchester United’ and on feast day the City comes to a halt for ceremonial fighting, prayer and ritual use of Boddingtons beer.

Dress: Track suits and stuff from thrift shops. They also tend to try and copy American fashion trends but do this very badly.

Music: Anything that they can buy in 4:4 time with no melody.

From a six year study based in Stretford, Manchester UK.
by Blue Cawdrey November 19, 2004
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car fuck

A motor accident in which the lead car has another car piled up on top of it from the rear, the result of a tailgater being unable to stop in time through being too close.

Resembles one car mounting another.
Witness: A kid ran out in the road and the lead car had to stop real fast, the car behind was unable to stop in time and really car fucked him.

Fireman: Well driver in the lead car has no worries now, the rear cars engine block has taken his head clean off.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
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Mouse Jockey

Computing, IT. Person of limited training employed to perform simple computer related tasks.
Don't give Bob full access to the system he is only a mouse jockey.
by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
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