Big Jack's Bollocks's definitions

saddlebag with eyes

Used to describe the face of a person who through age, weathering or too much time in the tanning salon has become over leathery.

I really used to fancy that check out woman from Tesco's however it appears that she must have bought a sunbed for herself and used it constantly for the past 3 months. She served me the other day and her face was like a saddlebag with eyes.

by Big Jack's Bollocks May 15, 2017

facebook night shift

Facebook night shift is what is completed when someone makes many posts during the nighttime

“OMG have you seen how many FB posts Natalie made after we went to bed?” , “Yes she’ appears to have chronicled our entire night out during her Facebook night shift”

by Big Jack's Bollocks January 23, 2018

Doing a Donald

The act of doing something very stupid without a thought for the consequences for anyone else

"hey bro what do you think of someone that may start world war 3 by constantly provoking a deranged nuclear armed dictator" " Well I'd think they were really dumb, and their actions should be described as Doing a Donald!

by Big Jack's Bollocks September 29, 2017

quivering like a shitting dog

The term used to describe the state you find yourself in the morning after a night of very heavy drinking

Oh man I shouldn't have moved onto double cocktails after the bar ran out of beer last night, I woke up this morning and I was quivering like a shitting dog!

by Big Jack's Bollocks July 7, 2017

Mingeweasal

A male who will attempt to seduce any adult woman he encounters.

Where I work there’s this guy who constantly hits on any female whose unfortunate enough to come into his line of sight, he’s known locally as the mingeweasal!

by Big Jack's Bollocks July 22, 2023

secret shag

A woman or man you have casual sex with but don't wish to brag about

"Hey bro Fat Susan said you laid her last week", "ok yes I did, I was totally pissed , the bottom line is I'd prefer to keep her as a secret shag"

by Big Jack's Bollocks July 21, 2017

Afterplops

A phenomenon that occurs after you’ve had a really massive poo, possibly following a few days of constipation, however for a few hours after the said poo you need to return to the toilet several times to pass turds even though you thought your bowel was completely empty.

I thought I’d have a really good day today after managing an extremely large & satisfying poo this morning, however when I got to work I had to go to the toilet 4 or 5 times to pass even more poo, it was a really bad attack of the afterplops.

by Big Jack's Bollocks November 7, 2025