Bernard Bangwanger's definitions

masturdebating

1. When you first start to pleasure yourself and you can't decide which person you're going to think about during climax.
2. When a girl is at a sex toy shop and she can't decide which toy to buy.

Steve spends a long time masturdebating since he has such a large spank-bank.
Liz spent hours masturdebating over the wall of toys.

by Bernard Bangwanger December 29, 2010

Sweater Poncho

It’s a sweater or some other material with a hole in the middle and it's worn like a poncho.

I can't believe Bernard went home with that girl wearing the sweater poncho.

by Bernard Bangwanger November 6, 2004

Girlfrenter

When you start sleeping with the girl renting the other apartment in your building.

How long will it take Mike's girlfrenter to want a real relationship and stop paying rent?

by Bernard Bangwanger December 22, 2010

barberism

overpaying for a crappy haircut

$20 for a Great Clip's haircut!? Such barberisms cannot be tolerated.

by Bernard Bangwanger April 12, 2014

constiplation

to spend hours on the toilet pondering life

I had a gallon of cheese dip so I spent the rest of the evening in constiplation that great men crap alike.

by Bernard Bangwanger June 13, 2010

Sargasm

A women fakes an orgasm, then tells her partner "Yeah, that was great."

After very efficient lovemaking, she told me I did a good job, but I could feel her sargasm as she was laying it on pretty thick.

by Bernard Bangwanger December 22, 2010

Sperm Whale

1. A large women who likes to be ejaculated on.
2. A large whale who likes to be ejaculated on.

Pete: Why did you go home with that large women?
Mully: Dude, she is a sperm whale.
Pete: Oh. Then kudos to you.

by Bernard Bangwanger September 24, 2011