4 definitions by Barry Spanners
The sound you make when you've just curled out a very wet shit in your pants and can't be bothered to go home and change so you head to the nearest bar and sit down and have a drink. Everyone can smell you but you don't care. What you do care about is the fact that every time you move from cheek to cheek to get more comfortable you simply end up squelching all the time.
"Fucking hell mate, is that you making that smell?"
"Yeah. I just shit my pants."
"Can't you go home and change?"
"Yeah I guess. To be honest, probably best cos I'm just squelching over here. Fuck it's even running down into my boots."
"Yeah. I just shit my pants."
"Can't you go home and change?"
"Yeah I guess. To be honest, probably best cos I'm just squelching over here. Fuck it's even running down into my boots."
by Barry Spanners June 21, 2016
This is the tissue paper that gets stuck to the helmet (glans) of your cock after you've had a wank (fap). You shoot your load into it but then when you try to pull it away, you find you have about 20 scraps of tissue still attached and it's frankly painful to peel them away manually so you have to stand over the wash basin, alternately washing it with one hand and gently peeling it all off with the other. It's a fucking nuisance tbh.
I was looking at the SEMA car show models and saw the one I was going to cum to. She was a stunning Latina. I shot my wad and grabbed the tissue paper and put my knob in there to catch all the spunk but when I went to take it away, I had a jizz roll situation on my hands, pun definitely intended. I had to call my aunt Colleen down and she picked away at it for about half an hour.
by Barry Spanners June 21, 2016
A charity event in Cambodia where well known celebrities all wear sarongs when manning the phone lines to accept cash for whatever the chosen charity is.
"I like your sarong."
"Thank you. Yes, I'm wearing it this evening at the Sarongathon."
"What are you raising money for?"
"For Sir Bob Geldof to get a haircut and a shave cos he's in a right fucking state. Even taken to swearing at fishermen."
"He's a right prick that one. Have a good time."
"Yes, thank you. I will."
"Thank you. Yes, I'm wearing it this evening at the Sarongathon."
"What are you raising money for?"
"For Sir Bob Geldof to get a haircut and a shave cos he's in a right fucking state. Even taken to swearing at fishermen."
"He's a right prick that one. Have a good time."
"Yes, thank you. I will."
by Barry Spanners June 21, 2016
A wankerfag is a prissy, screechy, whiny little Beta male who thinks he knows everything and is obnoxious to the nth degree. He gets on everyone's tits with his know-it-all attitude. This person is despised by all who know him and he knows it. BBC ornithologist Bill Oddie would be a prime example of a wankerfag.
"Did you see the TV programme last night about the starlings?"
"No I didn't. Who was the host?"
"Hmmmm, Bill Oddie I think."
"Oh no! Glad I didn't watch it now. I can't abide that tossy little wankerfag."
"No I didn't. Who was the host?"
"Hmmmm, Bill Oddie I think."
"Oh no! Glad I didn't watch it now. I can't abide that tossy little wankerfag."
by Barry Spanners June 21, 2016