Definitions by Anonymous submissions

Better out than intimate

To break wind whilst being intimate with someone. The release of said gas is often associated with the other participant(s) in the sexual act discontinuing their participation.

''Well, looks like I'm on the hunt for a new girlfriend again. Susie and I were really connecting spiritually and emotionally during an extended Alabama lane change, but a better out than intimate squeezed its way out of my anüs as I was going for it and the gas has caused her to suffocate and die. If I'm being brutally honest, the initial chloroform might have been a culprit in the suffocation too.''

Better out than intimate by Anonymous submissions August 7, 2018

Metabojism

The metabolic ability of a female (or raging tail gunner) to process nature's yoghurt i.e. a teaspoon of sperm cider

Beatrice: 'Jessica, darling you look absolutely divine- you must tell me your diet secret'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'

Metabojism by Anonymous submissions July 23, 2018

Backyard spactard 

A full-blown, several-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic specialist whose mental retardation is so debilitatingly extreme that they are forced to live in the backyard. This living arrangement is usually necessitated by the high risk of poisoning through licking the toxic cleaning products off the windows, should said backyard spactard remain indoors.

Liverpool put in a good showing in the Champion's League Final the other night. If it hadn't been for Karius goalkeeping like a backyard spactard, they might have won the game. I knew he'd be shit the day he signed for the club using his favourite crayon..

Backyard spactard by Anonymous submissions July 19, 2018

Wankerfied 

To get so shitfaced that one behaves like a complete and utter wanker.

'Dude, I was so categorically wankerfied last night I tried to force feed my Nan my penis. That's why I always find the combination of open bar and open casket at the wake particularly dangerous.'

Wankerfied by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Spazzle 

To dazzle an individual or crowd with one's ability to act like a complete and utter spaz.

'Geez, I really managed to spazzle my boss at the work Christmas party last night- I got so shitfaced that I tried to covertly relieve myself in a coke bottle under the dinner table. In hindsight it was pretty ambitious to think that the poo would have been able to get through the coke bottle neck..'

Spazzle by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Sackreligious 

When an atheist follows his sack and pretends to be religious in order to penetrate a good Christian girl.

'Dude, I got sackreligious yesterday and devirginated this smoking hot Christian girl. I would have had absolutely no chance had she not thought that I loved Jesus....and had a knife.'

Sackreligious by Anonymous submissions December 19, 2017

O.C.C.I.D 

An acronym for the tragic and debilitating medical condition- Obsessive Compulsive Calendar Invite Dickhead. Sufferers are known to infuriatingly and incessantly send google calendar invites to acquaintances for even the most trivial of scheduled appointments, thus clogging up the unwilling recipients email, calendar and life. The only proven treatment is for the perpetrator to be euthanised.

Pottsy: 'It's your round, I'm going to go for a piss.'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'

O.C.C.I.D by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2017