To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.
Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'
by Anonymous submissions January 27, 2017
Similar to the ancient Chinese slow form of torture, except more acknowledging that shagging 1000 gineys will both invariably take considerable time and leave the consumer with an array of diseases that will almost certainly lead to death. What a way to go though.
Babs: ‘What do you think would be the most cruel and unusual form of torture to use on Elton John?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
by Anonymous submissions October 13, 2022
To break wind whilst being intimate with someone. The release of said gas is often associated with the other participant(s) in the sexual act discontinuing their participation.
''Well, looks like I'm on the hunt for a new girlfriend again. Susie and I were really connecting spiritually and emotionally during an extended Alabama lane change, but a better out than intimate squeezed its way out of my anüs as I was going for it and the gas has caused her to suffocate and die. If I'm being brutally honest, the initial chloroform might have been a culprit in the suffocation too.''
by Anonymous submissions August 07, 2018
The original title for the Frank Sinatra classic; 'Luck, be a lady tonight.' The title was changed after producers found that focus groups struggled to relate to lyrics about a woman comprised almost entirely of cuntflaps.
Frank (singing in studio): 'Labia lady tonight, your beef curtains gave me a fright'
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
Producer: 'Ahhh, Frank, those lyrics really aren't doing it for me- I think fans will struggle to relate to a woman with engorged labia'
Frank: (farts disapprovingly)
by Anonymous submissions December 31, 2016
To get so heavily intoxicated that the participant's position on the space time continuum becomes fluid as he/she 'crosses over.'
Often associated with a complete blurring of the lines between life and death, gay and straight, able bodied and paralysed, and continent and not.
Often associated with a complete blurring of the lines between life and death, gay and straight, able bodied and paralysed, and continent and not.
'Bro, I definitely won the 'drunkest man in Europe' award last night- I was so turbo mega cunt fucked that I crossed-over and woke up in a chicken coop felching a shop mannequin. The only thing that's going to shift this hangover is a masturbaywatch. Now, want to help me fuck this mannequin?'
by Anonymous submissions December 13, 2016
When a heterosexual male (or vaginatarian) is dissatisfied with the overall number of sexual conquests they have achieved to date i.e a down-in-the-dumps no-pumps chump
Bill: ‘Mate, can I talk to you? My discuntent keeps deteriorating so much that I’ve booked in for a penis extension’
Ted: ‘Ha!’
Bill: ‘I’m not joking, I’ve already got the appointment booked’
Ted: ‘It’s not that, I’m just surprised you think your tiny cock is the root cause of your discuntent, when it’s actually the fact that your face looks like it caught on fire and was put out with a bike chain’
Ted: ‘Ha!’
Bill: ‘I’m not joking, I’ve already got the appointment booked’
Ted: ‘It’s not that, I’m just surprised you think your tiny cock is the root cause of your discuntent, when it’s actually the fact that your face looks like it caught on fire and was put out with a bike chain’
by Anonymous submissions June 02, 2021
An acronym for the tragic and debilitating medical condition- Obsessive Compulsive Calendar Invite Dickhead. Sufferers are known to infuriatingly and incessantly send google calendar invites to acquaintances for even the most trivial of scheduled appointments, thus clogging up the unwilling recipients email, calendar and life. The only proven treatment is for the perpetrator to be euthanised.
Pottsy: 'It's your round, I'm going to go for a piss.'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'
by Anonymous submissions December 06, 2017