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Angus McCracken's definitions

Snow Job

When you think your girl friend has swallowed your load only to have your own semen deceptively spat back into your mouth while kissing her.
Dude your Mom said she swallowed but then gave me a nasty snow job.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Field Card

Very similar to a V Card that one surrenders upon loosing ones virginity this is a military term for new recruits who masturbate for the first time while on a military exercise.
Sir I have got poison ivy on my dick from surrendering my field card.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Ball Vents

The holes that occur in your underwear, naturally, over time allowing your balls to get proper air circulation

The lack of ball vents is often the single.biggest contributing factor to someone unexpectantly and inappropriately whipping out their nuts.
My new underwear have no ball vents so my nuts feel like they are on fire.
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Granny Choker

The pubes you hide in your Granny's asthma inhaler just for shits and giggles.
When the pubes from the Granny choker hit the back of her throat Granny almost died.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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Snap-a-doo

A cutesy variation on the word snapper (which is obviously slang for vagina)

Used by parents who don't feel comfortable using the anatomically correct terms. These same parents refer to a penis as a ding-dong.
Young girl talking to her Dad.

"Daddy my snap-a-doo is itchy what do I do?"

"Tell your Mom"
by Angus McCracken January 24, 2020
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Furry Fisting

Verb

1. What you do at Grandma's house while she sleeps. Prancing around her house naked you grab a fist full of her fur coat creating a furry pocket with your fist; into which you masturbate furiously until you have giz drenched her chinchilla or Granny wakes up.
Grandma was some pissed on Sunday when she caught me furry fisting myself. Not sure if it was on account of all the giz or cause I spilled all the mints outta her pockets.
by Angus McCracken January 25, 2020
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Island Time

Often confused with the sense that people on an island have about the.progression of time.

The correct definition refers to a specialized dump that can only be created my a certified dump master. In order to take an Island Time shit the dumper must drop at least one fully formed log into a toilet containing tidy bowl blue water whilst simultaneously urinating into the toilet. The yellow mixes with the blue creating an ocean green that the Caribbean is well known for.

If the dumper wipes and adds toilet paper to the bowl it is no longer an Island Time shit. This is why the conditions must be right and this can only be pulled off by a dump master.

It is also necessary to rise before wiping to get a view of your masterpiece from a height. Pics are not necessary but always appreciated.

Rare as an Island Time dump is it is even rarer to hear a female boast and or mention this type of specialized shit.
Man that looks like a photo from the plane when I went on Spring Break. Smell that...it is Island Time!
by Angus McCracken February 10, 2020
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