Mud collective

When four men meet at the dump point at a caravan park with their mud luggage for their daily conversation. Lots of talk about shit.

Sally: What are you up to this morning Gary?
Gary: First things fisrt, I need to empty our mud luggage and see how the lads are going.
Sally: Oh, the mud collective??

by Andos Hastos January 10, 2022

The Charleton

A style of dance generally performed by an individual after dark. It is a convulsive full body thrust often accompanied with sweep the floor. If not done right, could cause serious harm to self and others.

Spike: “Hold my beer, it’s time!”.
Jade: “Do you think it’s a bit early? We haven’t even had dessert.”
Spike: “It’s never too early for the Charleton. Form a circle and Stand back”.

by Andos Hastos September 30, 2021

Golden Child

First born child, always funny in his mum’s eyes, does nothing around the house besides getting in the way, PlayStation connoisseur.

Currently employed at the local private hospital, working as medical records eye candy/bitch. Mum is so proud as usual.

Mum: ‘Where’s my golden child?’
Everyone else: ‘He’s snorting a line off a Kmart plate.
Mum: ‘That’s my boy!’

by Andos Hastos October 07, 2021

Eliza

Twin 2. The Liza in Charliza. Funny, random, loyal and loving. Eliza is an ambitious, fast talking gal who ‘sings’ like Adele and ‘dances’ like Beyoncé. Eats dinner for breakfast and puts cheese on everything! Speeds like an F1 driver and dishes demerit points to family members. Easily triggered, click your fingernails and she will cut you. Most likely child to wipe parent’s bums in old age. Best footballer in the family. Loved by all who know her.

Random person: ‘Who’s that over there with the epic resting bitch face? She just ate a whole wheel of cheese!’

‘On that’s Eliza. She’s the best.’

by Andos Hastos October 12, 2021

Kindle Shit

A visit to the lavatory made more comfortable by the use of a Kindle, resulting in an extended stay on the bowl, affecting all of your family members who are desperate to relieve themselves.

Sienna: Dad, can I please use your ensuite to go to the toilet? Paris is in ours.
Dad: Why? She won’t be long.
Sienna: Dad. She took in her kindle. She could be in there for days. I think she’s three chapters deep! It’s definitely a kindle shit.
Dad; Fine. We need to leave in an hour or so, I’ll go and tell Paris to snap it off.

by Andos Hastos December 24, 2021

Nana

The sweetest lady you will ever meet. Gives the best cuddles, makes the best muffins. Creates the most special cards. Loves her family beyond measure. Puts up with Russell.

Random guy at Knoxfield shops: “Who’s that lady over there?”
“Oh that’s my Nana, she’s the best!”

by Andos Hastos November 01, 2021

Sue on you

When you have cooious amounts of food on any part of your body.

Everybody: ‘You have sue on you.”
Mum: ‘Where?’ but then licks herself clean like a cat.

by Andos Hastos October 07, 2021