Albert Woods's definitions

Blanket Crawler

An insatiable cum-guzzling nympho who, not satisfied with a generous mouthful, dives under the blankets foraging for any stray jism blobs (sometimes next morning).

Peregrine: 'I'm worried about our sex life. Lady Isobel keeps disappearing under the bedclothes.'

Quentain: 'Don't be. She's probably a blanket crawler.'

by Albert Woods September 27, 2007

Chuttocks

Excessively fat jowels that hang from the face and meet under the chin in a cleavage reminiscent of a huge arse.

'My 28 stone wife has enormous chuttocks. If it wasn't for her endless talking, I'd never know which end is which.'

by Albert Woods January 3, 2009

Crying Wolf

1: Some women's irritating habit of regulary shouting out: 'Wolf! Wolf!'

2: A wolf that has just missed out on its lunch of Red Riding Hood and has tears in its eyes.

Man: 'Stop crying Wolf! Wolf!'

Woman: 'I'm not, you tosser. It's Fido going Woof! Woof!'

Man: 'I hate false alarms. Get him some eloquotion lessons.'

by Albert Woods September 27, 2007

Snepprotical

Adjective with variable, or no, meaning; used to flummox one's superiors and betters who will not admit to their total ignorance of the word.

In Business:-

'What do you think of the latest sales figures, Braithwaite?

'Well sir, they could be better; but they're quite snepprotical aren't they.'

or Socially:-

'A round of golf tomorrow, Smithers?"

'I'm afraid not Lord Duff. My wife's holding a snepprotical coffee morning.'

by Albert Woods January 2, 2009