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Definitions by Albert Woods

Crying Wolf 

1: Some women's irritating habit of regulary shouting out: 'Wolf! Wolf!'

2: A wolf that has just missed out on its lunch of Red Riding Hood and has tears in its eyes.
Man: 'Stop crying Wolf! Wolf!'

Woman: 'I'm not, you tosser. It's Fido going Woof! Woof!'

Man: 'I hate false alarms. Get him some eloquotion lessons.'
Crying Wolf by Albert Woods September 27, 2007

Blanket Crawler 

An insatiable cum-guzzling nympho who, not satisfied with a generous mouthful, dives under the blankets foraging for any stray jism blobs (sometimes next morning).
Peregrine: 'I'm worried about our sex life. Lady Isobel keeps disappearing under the bedclothes.'

Quentain: 'Don't be. She's probably a blanket crawler.'
Blanket Crawler by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
An unbroken string of musical-sounding farts, reminiscent of James Last records.

Also see Smelody.
'God Cynthia. What on earth did you eat last night? You've been bum-humming that Gershwin smedley for at least five minutes. I can't breathe.'
Smedley by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
The subtle female bouquet - reminiscent of fish - resulting from an excess of old vaginal mucus. Sometimes found on ladies bicycle saddles in hot weather Shufti.
'Well Rupert; from the delightful aroma from the kitchen, I thought we were having fish for supper.'

'No, Claude: it's pheasant old boy. What you can smell is Lady Constance's whang. Quite mackerelly today, don't ya think?'
Whang by Albert Woods September 22, 2007