fauxcus

Combination of "focus" and "faux," describing the act of pretending to pay attention in class while you're doing something else. Well-timed nods at important assertions and brows furrowed in intellectual curiosity go a long way toward indicating that you are actively engaged in the class conversation. In truth, however, you may be texting, emailing, or shopping for shoes.

Maintaining proper fauxcus, Johnny was walking on the razor's edge: While gorging himself on epic fail videos of kittens trying to pounce on each other, he appeared to the professor to be actively engaged in the class conversation.

by Ae5Ea8 April 05, 2015

matulence

A combination of "flatulence" and "mat:" A farting sound on a sweaty mat caused by the curve of your lower back pushing the air out when you do a quick sit up. This can occur most often when your towel is soaked with sweat, as often occurs during the sit up in Bikram Yoga.

Pardon my matulence, ma'am. That wasn't the beans below.

by Ae5Ea8 February 17, 2015

roll it forward

putting on a new roll of toilet paper even when, technically, you don't have to because you've already done your business — but you realize that if you don't the next person will be in an unenviable position

It's a good deed. So you're "paying it forward."

Roll it forward -- it's chicken soup for your soul

by Ae5Ea8 September 10, 2016

multi-flixing

Combination of "multi-tasking" and "Netflix," describing the act of binge viewing several different TV shows within one TV watching session. You might watch one episode of one show, followed by another episode of another show, and then back to the first show.

I'm currently multi-flixing Justified, Breaking Bad, and Mad Men.

by Ae5Ea8 April 22, 2015

stallitary confinement

Combination of "stall" and "solitary confinement," describing the predicament of finding yourself seated in a public bathroom stall without any reading material or smartphone.

Without my iPhone, I'm in stallitary confinement whilst I drop a deuce.

by Ae5Ea8 July 04, 2016

miller's paradox

Intense contractions caused by running faster to make it to the toilet in time. The paradox is that the faster you run, the faster you will get to the toilet — but also, the faster you run, the more imminent becomes the dropping of the deuce prior to making it to the toilet.

miller's paradox is related to Zeno's paradox in a way

by Ae5Ea8 September 24, 2016

Order of the Queef

An award given to the top 10% of vaginal farts. See also Order of the Coif.

I graduated Order of the Queef and now I get to work fourteen hour days, including Saturdays and Sundays.

by Ae5Ea8 November 27, 2016