Fuck work,

I'm gonna Trump today.

My roommate challenged me to a Canadian competition, he did my dishes so I cleaned his room and did his laundry. I win, for now.

" I'm suffering from some severe napstipation!" "Ouch man you're napstipated! That sucks! you should really see a doctor!"

So whatcha doing tonight?
I'm sailing the internet looking for movies

"Damn girl you are blessed from behind"

"Only losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin all those diems."
-summer

I got a text, an email and an alert on my mobile device from (ridesharing company) about how dirty my car is. Came to find out it was a fucking ride critic that complained about the water spots on the right side windows.