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Shackled to the Sauce 

Approximately four chicken wings deep, when the level of buffalo sauce on your fingers reaches a point where you can no longer touch any other object in sight (beer glass, cell phone, etc.) without smearing sauce all over it
The waitress didn’t bring any wet naps, I’m not touching these wings until I know I won’t end up shackled to the sauce forever

SharkBite U3016LFA Slip Coupling 3/4 inch, Repair Plumbing Fitting Pipe Connector, Push-to-Connect, Copper, CPVC

A SharkBite Is a U3016LFA Slip Coupling 3/4 inch, Repair Plumbing Fitting Pipe Connector, Push-to-Connect, Copper, CPVC, sold on amazon for $5.97
Did you know that the extra features of SharkBite U3016LFA Slip Coupling 3/4 inch, Repair Plumbing Fitting Pipe Connector, Push-to-Connect, Copper, CPVC include:

INSTALLS IN SECONDS: Slip couplings require no special tools, no soldering, no crimping or glue. Just push to create a watertight seal, great to have on hand for quick emergency repairs when you have burst or frozen pipes
COPPER or CPVC: SharkBite straight coupling plumbing fittings fits copper tubing, CPVC and connects them in any combination
LEAD FREE: Made of high quality forged lead free DZR brass.
QUALITY: Only SharkBite's quality and performance is field-proven with more than 550 million connections. SharkBite is the only push-to-connect brand that can ensure a clean, leak-free connection
CERTIFIED: Can be used in wet lines; Shark Bite fittings are certified to 200 PSI and 200 degrees Fahrenheit and can be reused up to 4 times

And its only $12.95 if its used

sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads 

1. From the old Austin Powers movie, the awesome quote by Dr. Evil.

2. An exclamation of pain and anger, almost at the point of giving up, but still trying to make it work
As Dr. Evil eloquently says in the old movie Austin Powers: International Man of Myster:
"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? "

" got 2 exams coming up, and yet this douche-bag from my history class keeps calling me up to go hang out with him. And add to that the fact that my car's tire is flat, and on top of that I got blue-balls like nobody's business. Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"