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Suckretary

A totally inept coworker who can't handle the basics functions of living much less an important job working with the public.
"This is the fifth time she has jammed the copy machine today. Barb's office skills win her the suckretary of the year award.

Former UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon 

The owl shown in the Tom Scott video called "How Weird Is My Audience? I Polled 15,408 People To Find Out
Person 1: Is that Clovenhorn, Destroyer of Mars?
Person 2: No! It's Former UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon! (*tom dying of laughter in the corner*)

Blue Secretary 

when you are messing aroung with a chick and you go home right before you finish and she calls you and talks dirty so you can get off
He got a speeding ticket trying to get home to finish his blue secretary.
Blue Secretary by cambronshinn February 7, 2010

secretary 

get out of the dark ages theyre not called secretary anymore, theyre called ed 'assistants' now. and Lollypop or lollipop are the longest words you can type with your right hand. chew on that :)
secretary by daywalkz March 31, 2009

US Secretary of Defense Parnas 

The newest appointee in the administration of the 45th POTUS.
The newest US Secretary of Defense Parnas was tapped by Putin’s Bitch this morning when he told his good buddy Lev that he was sorry he acted like he didn’t know him and that Parnas was “up next” for this plum job where he can work directly with Vlady and all the other good buddies in Moscow and Ukraine.

Sham WH Press Secretary 

The White House Press Corps’ nickname for the newest Trump WH mouthpiece, Stephanie Grisham, because she doesn’t actually “do” press conferences and she seriously overuses the word “sham.”
“These vile sham impeachment procedures fueled by rabid commie Democrats will eventually be exposed,” seethed the Sham WH Press Secretary in a recently issued written statement.