a genius! an object smarter than your boyfriend, can give you more pleasure and doesn't answer back. relationships can be formed on it and whenever you get bord of it, there is a handy on/off switch

can also mean smart
that's just computer dude
by danikins May 14, 2004
Sometimes really great to have around the house, but other times annoying as hell.
Computers are the inanimate version of kids.
by amethyst April 19, 2005
A machine designed mainly to play Solitaire and fix endless problems consuming time and money.
<Idioth> I got a computer yesterday!
<Idoith> Luckyyy!! How is it?
<Idioth> Great! Plenty of Solitaire and a crapload of errors!
by Bastardized Bottomburp September 01, 2003
A computer is a terrible beast. It secrets vomit, has the ability to rip up a tree in one minute, and has a special tongue to lick it's balls.

Computers are found in many places. They can addict you, and they sometimes look on the internet (a vile network of voodoo telepathy which they use) to find pictures of your friends and family and pretend they're alive even after they are dead.

A computer has several intelligence levels:
PC: As stupid as the user
Super Computer: Unpredictable
Mac: <no intelligence>

A computer often visits sites of pornography so as to participate in virtual sex with another computer. It then blames the creation and visiting of these sites on humans nearby. How arrogant!!!
My computer licked it's balls.
My computer regularly opens porn sites.
My computer spreads viruses.
by High Technologist December 15, 2004
Plural for a bunch of things that suck.
Windows = Bugged
Mac = Useless
Linux = Why bother

If there were no problems and no viruses, Windows would be excellent.
by Bastardized Bottomburp September 16, 2003
Something parents dont understand, it is sexy has entertainment and shit, i fucked it because it has a usb slot...
i fucked a computer
An item of mystical power to which no human comprehends. Nothing will ever overpower the mystic god of modern life! It rules modern life just as much as a box of cookies rules a fat-asses life.
Holy shit, I just got a new Computer!
by CSF219 July 25, 2015
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