murphy's law 

The stupidest, most nonsensical "theory" ever. If it's a joke it isn't funny.

"Anything that can go wrong, will." What the fuck does that mean? I mean I wake up every morning and drive to work in my piece of shit car. I haven't gotten into an accident and my car has never broke down. There you have it I beat the stupid theory.

One of the most common examples that I hear is when stuck in traffic the other lanes around you will move faster than the lane you're in. What? What about the people in the other lanes, why doesn't this bullshit law apply to them? I could name some more examples but frankly it isn't worth it.

Murphy's Law is a crock of shit.

murphy's law by aldwardo November 3, 2006

murphy's law 

The title of Murphy Lee's album.

Murphy Lee's new shiz Murphy's Law is off da heez fo sheez.

murphy's law by Anonymous October 9, 2003

murphy's law 

Everything that could possibly go wrong will. The only reason that this is sometimes true is because everybody that believes it has a really pessimistic view on life, and if you have a positive attitude good things will happen.

I called a girl up and asked her out on a date. I got diarrhea, I lost my job, my car crashed, I was 2 hours late, and when I got there she had already left on a date with another guy. So I came home, told my hot roommate, and we ended up fucking all night long.

murphy's law by Buttfucked September 7, 2003

murphy's law 

Anything bad that could happen, will happen. Frequently quoted by those who think the entire world is against them, just because their piece of toast never lands the right way up. Same people often use the phrase 'That's just fucking typical' (of the world and everyone's in its conspiracy to piss me right off).

murphy's law by Eldritch September 4, 2003

Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk 

"You can keep purchasing small costlier-per-piece packages of a product till Doomsday, and you will always continue needing a sizable amount/quantity of it per week/month/year. But then just as soon as you plunk down a tidy sum for an economy-priced bulk-quantity of said commodity, your needs and/or lifestyle will immediately change, and so now you will likely never even begin to consume that much volume in your entire lifetime."

For example, you purchase several cases of plain white paraffin candles for your antique chandelier that you love to illuminate every evening, only to then discover that an electric-candle "upgrade" kit is available, and comes with fixtures that look just like the elegant candles and fit perfectly into your chandelier's holders! So now you're stuck with many hundreds of little white-wax tapers that you'll probably never have any use for.

I feel like such a total bulk-buying buffoon --- I had been consuming several expensive plywood-cutting circular-saw blades per year in my household woodworking-tasks, and so eventually I had purchased a bargain-priced fifty-pack of only-minutely-rusty "new old stock" Skilsaw-blades from a private seller on E-Bay. But then I had started using a larger-bladed table-saw for most of my panel-slicing/trimming needs, and so I've only used one or two of the circular-saw blades from the package in the many months since that time! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk" to me!!!

Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk by QuacksO August 8, 2018

Murphy's Law of Cheques 

Similar to Murphy's Law, but relating to cheques to wit:

Cheques being paid into your account (at least) twice as long to clear as cheques being drawn on your account.

F*** me I have no money! Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Murphy's Law of Cheques by Dr Pinch December 10, 2004

murphy's law 

The ultimate truth, what it all comes down to. Pessimistic (Albeit true) laws of the outcome of things in the universe.

If something can go wrong, it will.

murphy's law by AvengerXP September 4, 2003