Anything bad that could happen, will happen. Frequently quoted by those who think the entire world is against them, just because their piece of toast never lands the right way up. Same people often use the phrase 'That's just fucking typical' (of the world and everyone's in its conspiracy to piss me right off).
Frequently prefixed by "pure", as a substitute for "very".
1. To be drunk, e.g. "I was pure goosed last night boss".
2.To be hungover, e.g. "I drank a bottle of gone-off whiskey last night. Pure goosed today".
3. To be caught committing an inappropriate or illegal act. e.g. "I got goosed by the shades (police) for my flagrant lack of pants"
4. To have rang someone's (mobile) phone and hung up after the first 2 rings, so the number will show up and the recipient will call you back, or alternatively, just to be a bollocks. e.g. "Michael goosed my phone"
5.To have grabbed someone's arse (archaic).
6. To have suffered an unfortunate event or set of circumstances, or to express sympathy with such a happening. e.g. Tony: "I fucked up my 'Introduction to Aromatherapy' exam again. "
Oliver: "Oh, goosed".
7. To play a practical joke on someone, or take revenge for such an act, e.g. "I'm gonna goose him good for posting those bondage photos on the Internet"