brett burkhardt's definitions
"He sent me 20 texts today which is odd. He hardly ever texts and said he had the runs."
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Toilet Textingmug. Ever since Casey got a raise, Missy has been waging a whisper war about him all over the office.
“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Whisper Warmug. When someone makes statements about their accounts that are complete lies but, because you can’t say that in the notes or to the customer, you have to call it a memo discrepancy.
“This bitch says called the other day and that she’d gotten some rep to wave her fees but she never called in once. Can I say she’s a lying whore in the memos?”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Memo Discrepancymug. When a person insists on having a long, drawn out, pointless conversation on their cell phone when going to the bathroom, especially if it is a public bathroom.
"Dude, is there another bathroom here?"
"No, why?"
"There's some asshole in there talking on his cell phone and I just couldn't take a leak."
"Bathroom blather is so fucking rude."
When I heard I toilet flush I knew that this conversation was just bathroom blather.
"No, why?"
"There's some asshole in there talking on his cell phone and I just couldn't take a leak."
"Bathroom blather is so fucking rude."
When I heard I toilet flush I knew that this conversation was just bathroom blather.
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Bathroom Blathermug. When Maryann saw the black velvet painting of Elvis, Princess Diana, and Dale Earnhardt drinking beers while floating on clouds in heaven, she just couldn’t pass it up. It was just TOO great a Trailer Treasure to not buy.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Trailer Treasuremug. When a rich person, or a person who just thinks they are rich, bitches about things and expects special favors because they think they’re crazy rich.
You know someone’s going into a rich rage when they start talking about how much money they have in the bank.
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Rich Ragemug. Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the DIY Dilettantemug.