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brett burkhardt's definitions

Facebook Fraud

The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.

We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Gilded Turd

To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.

"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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HSN Nut

A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.
Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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QVC Crack Head

A person who spends all their money ordering shit on QVC and then returning it.
I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Tip Priority

The perk one gets from giving big tips or being known for giving big tips.
Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.

Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Fraudtarded

Committing fraud in such a way as the police will find them in five minutes such as paying your rent, phone bill, or utilities using a stolen credit card.
Paris was shocked that the police figured out she’d been using stolen credit card numbers. Of course, she was fraudtarded because she used those stolen cards to pay her rent and phone bill with them.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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2 Beer Bisexual

A guy who starts to act out his bisexual desires after just one or two drinks.
The guys at Alpha Sig didn’t care that Mark was bi, they just wished he would be honest about it instead of being a 2 Beer Bisexual who uses drinking as an excuse to be his real self.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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