DIY Dilettante

Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.

"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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whorephaned

A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 10, 2008
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Nutta Butta

Lacy was going to kill her boyfriend. He’d been dipping into her expensive imported face cream to use as nutta butta again.

Adam couldn’t decide which nutta butta he wanted to use. The Astroglide, coconut oil, or the hand lotion...decisions, decisions.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Scabies Sanctuary

A piece of furniture or person that is infected with scabies.
“Dude, you gonna help me move up that couch we found out by the dumpster?”
“Nah, that looks like it’s a scabies sanctuary.”

Tara thought that sweet almost chair from the second hand store was a steal. Too bad for her, it was a scabies sanctuary.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Party Pouter

Someone who spends an entire party bitch about who isn’t there or how late some people are in showing up or how early they are in leaving. This is usually all they talk about which pisses off everyone at the party.
“Don’t invite her, she’s a party pouter and she’ll spend the entire night bitching that her friends aren’t there.”

When Ricardo starting turning into a party pouter the host told him to either leave or shut up.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Shinanigans

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party but I was swamped at work.’
Shinanigans! I saw those pics you posted on facebook showing you at the titty bar with your friends, asshole!”

“I called shinanigans on that plumber when he told me it was going to cost $780 to order a new lid for the toilet tank. Does he think I’m retarded because I’m a woman or something?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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