brett burkhardt's definitions

flirt and divert

To flirt with someone to get something out of them and then ditching them.

Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."

by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

Jewelry Junky

Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.

April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.

Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Pregnancy Prevention Patrol

Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.

With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.

Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Secret Smoker

Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.

Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Tip Priority

The perk one gets from giving big tips or being known for giving big tips.

Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.

Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Memo Discrepancy

When someone makes statements about their accounts that are complete lies but, because you can’t say that in the notes or to the customer, you have to call it a memo discrepancy.

“This bitch says called the other day and that she’d gotten some rep to wave her fees but she never called in once. Can I say she’s a lying whore in the memos?”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Party Pouter

Someone who spends an entire party bitch about who isn’t there or how late some people are in showing up or how early they are in leaving. This is usually all they talk about which pisses off everyone at the party.

“Don’t invite her, she’s a party pouter and she’ll spend the entire night bitching that her friends aren’t there.”

When Ricardo starting turning into a party pouter the host told him to either leave or shut up.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008