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brett burkhardt's definitions

Crusty tube sock

A slut. Someone who’s taken more loads than a crusty tube sock hidden under a 14 year old’s bed.
“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”

“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Coupon Cunt

A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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bony pony

A guy who isn’t thin or wiry but just plain bony but who’s great in bed or has an amazing endowment.
“What do you see in him?”
“He’s a real bony pony and I’m going to ride him until dawn.”

When Carlos’ reputation of being a bony pony got out he couldn’t get a night to himself.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Memo Discrepancy

When someone makes statements about their accounts that are complete lies but, because you can’t say that in the notes or to the customer, you have to call it a memo discrepancy.
“This bitch says called the other day and that she’d gotten some rep to wave her fees but she never called in once. Can I say she’s a lying whore in the memos?”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Rich Rage

When a rich person, or a person who just thinks they are rich, bitches about things and expects special favors because they think they’re crazy rich.
You know someone’s going into a rich rage when they start talking about how much money they have in the bank.

“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Nutta Butta

Lacy was going to kill her boyfriend. He’d been dipping into her expensive imported face cream to use as nutta butta again.

Adam couldn’t decide which nutta butta he wanted to use. The Astroglide, coconut oil, or the hand lotion...decisions, decisions.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Bargain Bin Bandit

Someone who gets as much of their clothing, furnishings, books, cds, dvds, etc. from sale racks and bargain bins
Sara the Bargain Bin Bandit somehow managed to look like amazing even though her entire ensemble cost just $30.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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