brett burkhardt's definitions
A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Coupon Cuntmug. Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.
Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.
Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Tip Prioritymug. Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Porno No-Nomug. To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Gilded Turdmug. The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.
We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Facebook Fraudmug. by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the HSN Nutmug. The insanely annoying little girl voice that immature and stupid women love to use, especially when trying to weasel shit from other people.
When Steve heard the hottie at the bar talking in a little girl lisp he knew she was going to be a pain in the ass.
“Damn it, woman, you’re 27 years old, stop talking like a fucking 5 year old! It’s just fucking sad at this point! This little girl lisp shit isn’t cute anymore, it’s just pathetic!”
“Damn it, woman, you’re 27 years old, stop talking like a fucking 5 year old! It’s just fucking sad at this point! This little girl lisp shit isn’t cute anymore, it’s just pathetic!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Little Girl Lispmug.