76 definitions by brett burkhardt

To flirt with someone to get something out of them and then ditching them.
Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

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An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.
“Girl, check out that drag dowager in isle three. I half expected to see an Adam’s apple on her.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.
“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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When someone makes statements about their accounts that are complete lies but, because you can’t say that in the notes or to the customer, you have to call it a memo discrepancy.
“This bitch says called the other day and that she’d gotten some rep to wave her fees but she never called in once. Can I say she’s a lying whore in the memos?”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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An asshole who transfers someone to you or another department even though they can handle the problem themselves.
Margo in accounting was a huge transfer troll. She’d send your ass to shipping just so she wouldn’t have to answer any questions about shipping costs that she was entering into the system.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.
Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.
"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

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