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76 definitions by brett burkhardt

The lube used to jerk off with.
Lacy was going to kill her boyfriend. He’d been dipping into her expensive imported face cream to use as nutta butta again.

Adam couldn’t decide which nutta butta he wanted to use. The Astroglide, coconut oil, or the hand lotion...decisions, decisions.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
10 3
Named after the Greek prophetess. When you first warn someone about the trouble you see ahead.
“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”

When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
8 1
Someone who spends an entire party bitch about who isn’t there or how late some people are in showing up or how early they are in leaving. This is usually all they talk about which pisses off everyone at the party.
“Don’t invite her, she’s a party pouter and she’ll spend the entire night bitching that her friends aren’t there.”

When Ricardo starting turning into a party pouter the host told him to either leave or shut up.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
7 0
Using gossip and slander to stir shit up.
Ever since Casey got a raise, Missy has been waging a whisper war about him all over the office.

“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
9 2
The perk one gets from giving big tips or being known for giving big tips.
Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.

Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
8 1
A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
8 1
To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
10 3