76 definitions by brett burkhardt

When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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Someone who refuses to answer a simple question and insists on giving you their entire life story.
“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.

“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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When you need to notify someone that they may have been exposed to an STD.
Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.

Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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An asshole, especially an old asshole, who’s insanely rude to everyone and then bitches and lectures about how no has any manners these days.
“I’ve been on hold for three fucking minutes! In my day, we knew how to say sir and ma’am and not keep people waiting all day for a simple answer, you mongoloid sonofabitch! Now get me to someone who speaks real fucking English...damn Spics...and don’t put me on hold!” said the cranky 90 year old Mrs. Mannerless to a customer service rep.

Mrs. Mannerless felt the need to lecture the cashier on the proper way to greet a customer, ring up items, and bag groceries in a 23 minute long obscenity laden rant which included her spraying thick globs of menthol stinking spit all over register 10 during her more animated moments.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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One who has been left behind at the bar by a friend and/or ride so that they can hook up. Also known as being whorephaned.
The bartender knew that the chunky girl with the hot friend was going to be a whorephan by midnight the second they walked up to the bar.
by Brett Burkhardt March 09, 2008

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A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 09, 2008

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A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.
Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.

Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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