76 definitions by brett burkhardt

An asshole, especially an old asshole, who’s insanely rude to everyone and then bitches and lectures about how no has any manners these days.
“I’ve been on hold for three fucking minutes! In my day, we knew how to say sir and ma’am and not keep people waiting all day for a simple answer, you mongoloid sonofabitch! Now get me to someone who speaks real fucking English...damn Spics...and don’t put me on hold!” said the cranky 90 year old Mrs. Mannerless to a customer service rep.

Mrs. Mannerless felt the need to lecture the cashier on the proper way to greet a customer, ring up items, and bag groceries in a 23 minute long obscenity laden rant which included her spraying thick globs of menthol stinking spit all over register 10 during her more animated moments.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
One who has been left behind at the bar by a friend and/or ride so that they can hook up. Also known as being whorephaned.
The bartender knew that the chunky girl with the hot friend was going to be a whorephan by midnight the second they walked up to the bar.
by Brett Burkhardt March 09, 2008
Someone who accidentally rats out someone during their usual stupid rambling conversations.
“...and then we were all at the bar, and Misty looked hot in that dress and everyone was looking at her. Then Laura blew a guy in the men’s room but, oh my god, this guy bought us all shots and then..”
“Wait, so Laura cheated on her boyfriend.”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” mumbled the Ratty Cathy.

No one ever told Clayton anything because he turned into a ratty Cathy after just one drink.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
When you feign interest in a politician, political group, event, fundraiser, or offer aid to any of these groups or at these events just to try and get some ass.
Sean knows that he can get some great politipoon if he faked interest in the AIDS walk.

Mary was going to get her some politipoon. First she was going to volunteer at the Obama office, then she was going to stop by the Clinton office and, tomorrow, she was going to have a nice long talk with that hot guy who works the phones at the McCain office.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 09, 2008
A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.
Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.

Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

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