*walks out of doctors office*
Dude 1: Man this sucks
Dude 2: Dude what happened?!? Did they tell you whats wrong with you?!?
Dude 1: Yeah...
Dude 2: Well?!?
Dude 1: I've got birpies...
Dude 2: OH F**K
Dude 1: Yeah...

"If you haven't join the anelianatorsss what are you doing, subscribe!" - Anelia Mande
" I'm a anelianatorss and I'm proud!"

Needing locks on doors is a basic example. You step outside, shut the door, realize you locked yourself out and are stuck on the front steps in your bare feet in February. You are paying the asshole tax.

Or, at the airport, having to take off your shoes because someone once thought it was a good idea to try to blow up a plane with a shoe and someone else thought making everyone in their world take of their shoes would prevent that from ever happening again. The inconvenience is a small asshole tax. If you pick up a foot fungus from walking barefoot or sock-footed where thousands of others have, you're paying a bigger asshole tax.

Armely is so hot

Employee #1: What's Matt doing over there?
Employee #2: Oh, he's just pulling his pud.
Employee #1: What a pud puller!

(In a DJ booth at a radio station)
Matt: "All the equipment's supposed to be new right?"
Alex: "Yeah, there used to be a robot in the ceiling."
Matt: "I just meant how all the equipment's supposed to be new."