Wellsian Tortillas are a unique brand of tortillas made in the Lakewood/Steilacoom region of Washington, specifically in the vicinity of Fort Lewis. Wellsian Tortillas are known for their blandly absurd taste - and for having a penchant for always being around when least expected (i.e. in the middle of a class or briefing, it is not unusual for a Wellsian Tortilla to come flying out of the back of the room to unanimous dissatisfaction). Historically, Wellsian Tortillas originated in 2008 on the United States Army base called Fort Lewis.
Preparation
Wellsian Tortillas take little preparation or forethought in creation and are typically the result of an ill-thought out attempt at humor or as a illogical retort. On rare occasions, Wellsian Tortillas defy their aforementioned blandness and absurdity and can bear a faintly (stress faintly) humorous aftertaste. This taste is usually not prolonged and tends to fade within a few minutes - not unlike the symptoms of Salvia use or joke degradation (the phenomenon of fading joke appeal over repeated tellings).
To prepare your own Wellsian Tortillas, the following ingredients are required:
* Absurd amounts of movie (and/or) pop-culture familiarity. "Absurd amounts" being attributable to the often-time inability to control one's reference and/or vocalizing of an inane movie/pop-culture reference (usually at inappropriate times).
* Child-like innocence naivety, usually used as a complement to actions that in other people would border on the levels of mental instability/underdevelopment.
* An unwitting audience.
* An easy bake oven (a mouth often doubles as a field-expedient easy bake oven.
Side Effects
Wellsian Tortillas should be created and consumed sparingly. Overcreation/overconsumption of Wellsian Tortillas can result in painful side-effects including hysteria, momentary blindness, momentary muteness or deafness, wide spread panic, delusions of grandeur, homicidal rage, unnecessary impersonations, and dementia. Safe recommended doses are somewhere between 0 and 1 ingestions annually.
If you believe you have consumed or created a Wellsian Tortilla consult your doctor (i.e. the nearest suicidal instrument).
If all else fails SLING PIGEON.
Preparation
Wellsian Tortillas take little preparation or forethought in creation and are typically the result of an ill-thought out attempt at humor or as a illogical retort. On rare occasions, Wellsian Tortillas defy their aforementioned blandness and absurdity and can bear a faintly (stress faintly) humorous aftertaste. This taste is usually not prolonged and tends to fade within a few minutes - not unlike the symptoms of Salvia use or joke degradation (the phenomenon of fading joke appeal over repeated tellings).
To prepare your own Wellsian Tortillas, the following ingredients are required:
* Absurd amounts of movie (and/or) pop-culture familiarity. "Absurd amounts" being attributable to the often-time inability to control one's reference and/or vocalizing of an inane movie/pop-culture reference (usually at inappropriate times).
* Child-like innocence naivety, usually used as a complement to actions that in other people would border on the levels of mental instability/underdevelopment.
* An unwitting audience.
* An easy bake oven (a mouth often doubles as a field-expedient easy bake oven.
Side Effects
Wellsian Tortillas should be created and consumed sparingly. Overcreation/overconsumption of Wellsian Tortillas can result in painful side-effects including hysteria, momentary blindness, momentary muteness or deafness, wide spread panic, delusions of grandeur, homicidal rage, unnecessary impersonations, and dementia. Safe recommended doses are somewhere between 0 and 1 ingestions annually.
If you believe you have consumed or created a Wellsian Tortilla consult your doctor (i.e. the nearest suicidal instrument).
If all else fails SLING PIGEON.
by Specialist Demotable B June 24, 2009
Get the Wellsian Tortilla mug.Wellsian porn, or pornography, is material that provides sexual arousal to someone obsessed with the military and related fields. The name comes from its main user, Wells.
Wellsian pornography typically consists of things such as the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers, Soldier of Fortune Magazine, and popular country songs like Toby Keith's American Soldier.
Wellsian pornography typically consists of things such as the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers, Soldier of Fortune Magazine, and popular country songs like Toby Keith's American Soldier.
by sling pigeon September 22, 2009
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An act that can be characterized as pervy and/or completely over the top and unnecessary (usually at the detriment of whatever you're supposed to be doing at the time).
Your decision to knit 500 sweaters and photograph adolescent girls instead of attending the mandatory meeting was very Kirk Wellsian.
by Tsika January 19, 2008
Get the kirk wellsian mug.A term to describe the sentiments of those who realize the future predicted in George Orwell's famous novel, "1984," has come to fruition, and there's essentially nothing that can be done to remedy it.
NPC news fired him for being a bigot, and he didn't even apologize on social media. "Yeah, he's just an 'Oh-Wellian' bigot, and realizes that an apology is futile.
Friend 1: "Wow, you're alt-right for not wanting children to have dildos in the classroom. I don't recognize you anymore. Never text me again." Friend 2: "Dang, this is certainly an Oh-Wellian moment for me, but I wish you the best in life. Take care."
Friend 1: "Wow, you're alt-right for not wanting children to have dildos in the classroom. I don't recognize you anymore. Never text me again." Friend 2: "Dang, this is certainly an Oh-Wellian moment for me, but I wish you the best in life. Take care."
by LeaveSociety June 19, 2022
Get the Oh-Wellian mug.The act of performing a critical, mission-driven event at maximum possible capacity. Similar in context to but with more exclamatory emphasis than "clutch".
With the clock running down Ed started Wellsin' it and got a final shot of the ice ball past Jeff, the goalie.
by waybetterthanu June 18, 2012
Get the Wellsin' mug.1. The blatant and willing act of accomplishing absolutely nothing while consuming the largest measurable passage of time, without getting in trouble for it.
2. To be total shit at doing something.
2. To be total shit at doing something.
“I would have gotten you those reports on time but I have been Wellsin’ it up big time. I will make it my top priority. Working on it, shouldn’t take long.”
"Man, look at Ed peace'n out early, he's really Wellsin' it up today."
"Man, look at Ed peace'n out early, he's really Wellsin' it up today."
by TheAuthorityOnTheMatter December 2, 2013
Get the Wellsin' mug.Ravaging your beer and friends all in the name of seeking a drunk stage of enlightenment.
The stage after heathing.
“I think therefore I am!”
The stage after heathing.
“I think therefore I am!”
by The Dali Lama 69 March 29, 2019
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