Turtle hat 

A way to express feeling very frustrated about an ongoing or frequent situation that you seem incapable of resolving;

To feel like a turtle wandering around wearing an oversized Mexican sombrero and everytime something surprises him he pulls his head into his shell and the hat falls off and his little turtle arms are too short to put it back on his head and so he is sort of forced to nuzzle it back on but then it's sitting sort of crooked and he still can't reach it to adjust it so he has to do a bit of a wobble back and forth to get it to sit properly and then something surprises him again and...

Turtle hat! I keep waking up soaked in piss and I try to stay awake to catch who's doing it but it's hard when I'm so motherfucking drunk.

Turtle hat by JLamprey December 14, 2016

Turtle Top Hat

When a man takes home a woman who chose to wear a top hat out to a formal event. Right after she falls asleep, he ejaculates around the rim of the hat, then puts it back onto her head. When she wakes up and her hair has fused to the hat and protests, he simply pulls the hat down forcefully causing her head to pop out of the top of the hat, much like a turtle peeking his head out of his shell.

The bed didn't have any sheets so I couldn't Superman that hoe, but luckily I was able to still Turtle Top Hat her shit.

Turtle Top Hat by Turtlejournal January 8, 2009

Alabama Turtle Hatching

A sexual act between two consenting adults. During foreplay, one person lubes the others anus while performing felatio/cunnilingus. A hard boiled egg is then inserted into the anus. Once inserted, anal sex occurs until the egg breaks and the man ejaculates. Semen seeps out with the pieces. Resembling a freshly hatched sea turtle.

Last night was so much fun. We had extra hard boiled eggs from ramen night and used them to make an Alabama TURTLE hatching

Alabama Turtle Hatching by DirtStar17 June 4, 2021

turtle hats 

totally hot

your turtle hats

turtle hats by mnbhgfdertyuijbvcfghj April 24, 2015

Turtlehank

Hard headed and sometimes mean, you want turtlehank on your team. He has a talent for getting banned from chats and setting things in fire, but is even better at trolling.

Death player: I thought I was safe until hank showed up, then I was turtlehanked.

Negan: oh man that sucks, I’ll put in a 3 day bubble.

Turtlehank by Wilmington Woman May 7, 2019

turtlebation 

Turtlebation is the disgusting practise of masturbating turtles for sexual gratification.

Enos, a dwarf albino hunchback, practised turtlebation openly, until he was strung up by a lynch mob for his perversion.

turtlebation by scodder April 9, 2010

turtlemate 

noun
like when you adopt a goat for Oxfam and they pair you with a turtle and you have a turtlemate who sends you presents

Oh look I just got a poster from my turtlemate!

turtlemate by polomate March 7, 2016