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green apple splatters of the mouth 

saying ridiculous or awkward embarrassing things that have no context in the conversation.

Can also be described as conversation diarrhea or word vomiting.
That guy was so weird when he couldn't stop talking in that meeting. It was like he had green apple splatters of the mouth.

the green apple splatters

your shit turns green,breaks and slams down the toilet while you bleed out and scream in pain. death follows. usual symptoms are cramps, vegan foods and listening to pink floyd non stop. it killed even the aztecs who despised green. in some cases the forces of hell will force their way out leading to you not being able to die but also feeling unending butt pain.
joe: i can't hold it!

(2 hours later)

JOE! ( green shit fills the toilet while joe clings to life)

"i had the green apple splatters, my body is broken, OH GOD NO!!

(craps out skeleton) why can't i die? no dear god (gets dragged to hell)

honey i need to pee

go ahead

(scream)

not again!

Who's choking on the splinters 

Employees that suck on the wood penis on the Boss ....aka buttsniffers, suckass
Damnit I tired of all the "Who's choking on the splinters" types around work.

splatter the bowl 

A loud explosion of feces that litterally blows out your ass, sending small drops of liquid poop all over the inside of the toilet bowl.
After the double cappucino, I ran to the bathroom and did a "splatter the bowl" in my friends toilet.

splatter the platter 

Common term for having diahrea or loose stool.
After eating lunch at the Roach Coach, I had splattered the platter.
splatter the platter by Rick S. December 1, 2004

Splatter the matter

“Bruh! My tummy started rumbling in church so bad, I barely made it out of there and into McDonald’s next door to Splatter the matter.”
Splatter the matter by subtronic October 11, 2018