Texpecting 

A combination of the words 'text' (as in message) and 'expecting' to use when asking someone who they are expecting a text message from.

Eva: (looks at her phone for the hundredth time)

Delia: Eva, you have been looking at your phone all day! Who are you texpecting?

Eva: This guy I met at the gym yesterday! He hasn't texted me back!

Delia: What a bastard!

Texpecting by Amy Jallen August 6, 2009

Texposting 

A genre of online posts where you say the most unhinged things ever.

is that guy schizophrenic?

No, he's just Texposting.

Texposting by ScotchyFur January 22, 2023

Shooting myself in the dick and expecting to survive 

When someone suggests you stop or start doing something absolutely ridiculous that will affect something important to you, like your swag, your family or your life

Jack: Hey Joe, what are you giving up for lent?
Joe: Nothing, why?
Jack: Oh good. Can you give up chocolate with me?
Joe: No man, that's like shooting myself in the dick and expecting to survive

Shooting myself in the dick and expecting to survive by Oh my my July 2, 2015

sexpecting 

Verb; expecting sex.

Sarah is sexpecting from everyone she meets.

sexpecting by KarliPenney May 20, 2008

expecting 

The act of looking forward to but not wanting to say "looking forward to".
Having expectation of something happening.

Bryan was expecting to go to the movies.

expecting by Braden Ben Dover November 24, 2018

We weren't expecting special forces

While playing Battlefront 2 Empire Story, during the humiliating wake of defeat via the Ewoks special imperial forces show up to assist the overwhelmed empire.

"We weren't expecting special forces... That's the point sergeant!"

We weren't expecting special forces by Plasma Phi November 7, 2023

Expecting gold out of nickels 

A phrase often said by a person who has been hired for a low wage and does an adequate job but gets yelled at or talked down to anyways like they are hired you to be the second coming of Christ.

Manager: I told you yesterday to re-organize isle 22! You wasted a whole day!

Worker: I was told to put out stock and help unload the truck, you keep expecting gold out of nickels.

Expecting gold out of nickels by Poyuma February 19, 2018