UPDATE: OCTOBER 2008
The last this writer saw of the school, pandemonium reigned supreme over any attempts at control that may or may not have been attempted by the faculty and staff.
Two lockdowns in two years in response to terrorist threats of squirrel hunting have provoked a new, pseudo-uniform dress code in an attempt to get the kids to settle down and focus on learning. The kids, being kids, found this to be a travesty on par with slavery and the Holocaust, and retaliated with sullen replies of "this sucks" and "I don't wanna wear no stupid-a** uniforms." The administration responded by cracking down on the dress code. They let everyone know that "slate" is not an acceptable color for pants, ONLY BLACK!!! Also, they were kind enough to simplify people's lives by making sure they only had to wear shoes with one color! Anyone who dares to wear shoes with different color shoelaces, or a different color sole than the rest of the shoe will be punished like the commies they are!!!
Don't worry, the culprits of these acts were properly sentenced - I mean, reprimanded.
Additionally, the existence of a padded room in one of the middle schools was recently revealed. One can only imagine what must be going on in there to warrant a padded room for 9 year olds.
This reporter regrets to inform you they are no longer able to be on the front lines, having matriculated, but contacts on the inside are getting news out. Don't worry, Stroudsburgians! There's hope.
There's always hope.
The last this writer saw of the school, pandemonium reigned supreme over any attempts at control that may or may not have been attempted by the faculty and staff.
Two lockdowns in two years in response to terrorist threats of squirrel hunting have provoked a new, pseudo-uniform dress code in an attempt to get the kids to settle down and focus on learning. The kids, being kids, found this to be a travesty on par with slavery and the Holocaust, and retaliated with sullen replies of "this sucks" and "I don't wanna wear no stupid-a** uniforms." The administration responded by cracking down on the dress code. They let everyone know that "slate" is not an acceptable color for pants, ONLY BLACK!!! Also, they were kind enough to simplify people's lives by making sure they only had to wear shoes with one color! Anyone who dares to wear shoes with different color shoelaces, or a different color sole than the rest of the shoe will be punished like the commies they are!!!
Don't worry, the culprits of these acts were properly sentenced - I mean, reprimanded.
Additionally, the existence of a padded room in one of the middle schools was recently revealed. One can only imagine what must be going on in there to warrant a padded room for 9 year olds.
This reporter regrets to inform you they are no longer able to be on the front lines, having matriculated, but contacts on the inside are getting news out. Don't worry, Stroudsburgians! There's hope.
There's always hope.
Stroudsburg High School: This place blows.
by Wearing whatever they please October 22, 2008
Located small town in Northeast PA that has grown exponentially in the past few years thank to a large influx of people from New Jersey and New York. Everyone comes in from the city and expects to have some kind of respect or status because theyre from BX or BK, like we really give a damn. Nearly half the white kids believe they are black, when clearly they are not. The teachers (mostly younger at the school are someone you are very likely to run into at a college party - very awkward. The high school football team never wins, more people show up to basketball games than football games, teachers there have been known to sleep with each other then leave theyre spouses and children for another teacher, the high school is called East Stroudsburg North though it is really located in Bushkill, PA and the adress reads Dingmans Ferry, PA. The lunches had to be revised becuase students are too fucking fat, guidance counselors are unhappy middle-aged women, and upperclassmen fall under the spell of skanky little freshman slores, usually named corinne. Almost 5 girls are pregnant every year. Teachers have also had relationships with students. You hear stories about someone getting caught fingering his girlfriend in class. We have the ugliest cheerleading team ever, the poorest homecoming decorations & floats ever, and the only pep rally we have becomes a goddamn dance party. The rival high school is East Stroudsburg South, and their whole athletic population is on steroids. Any bit of news travels down the mountain in no time, everyone eventually finds everything out. Our local mall is smaller than the Wal Mart. Wal Mart for some unknown reason is also a hangout for dense teenagers that have nothing to do at 2 AM. The local college, East Stroudsburg University, is a hot spot for senior high school students to get theyre party on.
"So did you hear about Js party on Friday?"
"No whattabout it?"
"Its an open invite, EVERYONES going!"
...a few hours after the party unwinds, everyone gets kicked out becuase of ridiculous amounts of assholes showing up.
"You know that student teacher, new to East Stroudsburg North?"
"Yeah..."
"I ran into him at an ESU party last weekend..."
"No whattabout it?"
"Its an open invite, EVERYONES going!"
...a few hours after the party unwinds, everyone gets kicked out becuase of ridiculous amounts of assholes showing up.
"You know that student teacher, new to East Stroudsburg North?"
"Yeah..."
"I ran into him at an ESU party last weekend..."
by Student1 November 12, 2007
Located small town in Northeast PA that has grown exponentially in the past few years thank to a large influx of people from New Jersey and New York. Everyone comes in from the city and expects to have some kind of respect or status because theyre from BX or BK, like we really give a damn. Nearly half the white kids believe they are black, when clearly they are not. The teachers (mostly younger at the school are someone you are very likely to run into at a college party - very awkward. The high school football team never wins, more people show up to basketball games than football games, teachers there have been known to sleep with each other then leave theyre spouses and children for another teacher, the high school is called East Stroudsburg North though it is really located in Bushkill, PA and the adress reads Dingmans Ferry, PA. The lunches had to be revised becuase students are too fucking fat, guidance counselors are unhappy middle-aged women, and upperclassmen fall under the spell of skanky little freshman slores, usually named corinne. Almost 5 girls are pregnant every year. Teachers have also had relationships with students. You hear stories about someone getting caught fingering his girlfriend in class. We have the ugliest cheerleading team ever, the poorest homecoming decorations & floats ever, and the only pep rally we have becomes a goddamn dance party. The rival high school is East Stroudsburg South, and their whole athletic population is on steroids. Any bit of news travels down the mountain in no time, everyone eventually finds everything out. Our local mall is smaller than the Wal Mart. Wal Mart for some unknown reason is also a hangout for dense teenagers that have nothing to do at 2 AM. The local college, East Stroudsburg University, is a hot spot for senior high school students to get theyre party on.
"So did you hear about Js party on Friday?"
"No whattabout it?"
"Its an open invite, EVERYONES going!"
...a few hours after the party unwinds, everyone gets kicked out becuase of ridiculous amounts of assholes showing up.
"You know that student teacher, new to East Stroudsburg North?"
"Yeah..."
"I ran into him at an ESU party last weekend..."
"No whattabout it?"
"Its an open invite, EVERYONES going!"
...a few hours after the party unwinds, everyone gets kicked out becuase of ridiculous amounts of assholes showing up.
"You know that student teacher, new to East Stroudsburg North?"
"Yeah..."
"I ran into him at an ESU party last weekend..."
by Student1 November 12, 2007
East stroudsburg South is the name for the high school in East Stroudsburg, PA located on North Courtland Street. It is currently undergoing a large renovation to update the building and make more room for growth based on the recent population influx and the need to remove all the asbestos from the building. The school boasts some very successful sports teams including football, girls basketball, soccer, track and rifle. Contrary to popular belief, the athletes at East Stroudsburg South don't take steroids. This was a rumor made up by some bitter North students who can't accept that they'll never beat South at football. East Stroudsburg South is a bitter rival with Stroudsburg and the two teams face off on Turkey Day every year for the Little Brown Jug. After East Stroudsburg North opened in 2000, they fancied themselves as a rival for South but seriously. They suck ass at everything. East Stroudsburg South's school colors are purple and white and their mascot is the Cavalier. The South campus is the far more superior campus as the North school is almost entirely populated by New Yorkers and wannabe white kids who insist that they're actually black.
I went to the Civil War game last night East Stroudsburg South vs. East Stroudsburg North. It was a slaughter again when South beat the shit out of North.
by Former South Student 03 March 18, 2009
A recently built high school in Dingmans Ferry, Pennsylvania. Built because the East Stroudsburg School District became so populated they had to split into 2 different school systems. Although the name of this school system is East Stroudsburg North, it is not located in East Stroudsburg or even Monroe County. In fact, it is about a 30 minute drive away from East Stroudsburg. The school is filled with many wannabies, posers, and black/hispanic kids from new york/new jersey. Because they suck in all of their athletics, they claim that the ORIGINAL east stroudsburg highschool, East Stroudburg South are their rivals. However, east stroudsburg south has been rivals with stroudsburg highschool for almost 100 years. East stroudsburg north needs to relize that south is not their rivals and they need to relize they are horrible in football. North has never beaten south once in football. Never.They do have a decent girls basketball team, but this is only because there school has tons of tough black girls from new york city. so overall, this is a shitty school that can not even compare to the original east stroudsburg highschool,eastburg south, or any other highschool for that matter.
East Stroudsburg North Student-"Yeah man, our football team was amazing this year. We were almost .500!
East Stroudsburg South student-"Haha, well we won the Mountain Valley Conference again and you guys sucked, again. Well i have to go get ready for Turkey Day against our rivals, Stroudsburg. Get a life!
East Stroudsburg South student-"Haha, well we won the Mountain Valley Conference again and you guys sucked, again. Well i have to go get ready for Turkey Day against our rivals, Stroudsburg. Get a life!
by east stroudsburg south student December 21, 2008
The place where the spanish teacher can have an affair with a student and still keep his job and no one questions it. They have no concept of what heat is
by LEmurz69 February 6, 2018
When you consume large amounts of corn and peanuts, and then pick the undigested bits out of your shit and feed them to someone you hate, preferebly a girlfriend your about to break up with, without their knowledge nor consent.
That fucking whore's gunna get a East Stroudsburg Dinner for Two!
She ate a dinner for two, that scumbag!
She ate a dinner for two, that scumbag!
by timarian December 21, 2005