you jerk off while taking a shit on the toilet. same as blumpkin but instead of getting a blowjob you engage in self-pleasure
by king blumpkin January 26, 2008
Similar to a Blumpkin except there is no second party involved. The self serve consists of jerking off while taking a dump. The self serve happens much more regularly because you do not have convince a slore to blow you when taking a crap.
Mike muth was on the prowl for a blumpkin but wasn't coming up with a suitable candidate, therefore he had to resort to the classic self serve blumpkin.
by Baller26 May 18, 2008
I was sitting on the toilet with candles lit and Yanni music playing and got really turned on while pinching a loaf. So i gave myself a Self Induced Blumpkin. The smell of my own poop made me cum into my mouth.
by Dick driller January 09, 2009
The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025