Generally, pod people are considered to be smaller than normal human beings, but are an alien race living amongst us. They recharge their power cells by returning to their pods, this is something they must do at least once every week. Their task in being sent to
Earth is to find small women who they will be able to 'pod' with. They then preform unknown mating rituals within the pod, resulting in new pod people, and the conversion of the human woman into a pod person, with her own pod. Characteristics of pod people are:
long noses, gambling, short temper, preference for feminine alcoholic drinks, large black desk chairs, small women, and going to the gym. Beware of any person that fits this description, if you are a woman, men are generally safe from 'podding,' since the woman pod people are unable to 'pod' with human males.
Developmental Stages:
Most newly born pod people cannot function outside of their pod until around 7
Earth years old. They can jet around the universe at near relativistic speeds, and must settle on a planet with
life by the age of 10
Earth years. If they do not, then they will outgrow their pod and be forced to climb out, and
die a
cold death in the vast void of the universe.
If they are able to reach a planet, they will hibernate in orbit of the planet until they are exactly 10 years old in
Earth years. On their 10th birthday, they will crash land into the planet. Upon crash landing, they will begin to grow a new, adult-sized pod, and will finish this stage after 5 more
Earth years. Pod People emerge from undergroung on their 15th birthday. When they emerge, they will live amongst the natives, feeding on native
food and trying to pod with females. They will become parasites of the dominant race of the planet, podding with females to create more pod people.
A pod person's
life span tends to exceed that of
normal terrestrial species, due to the recharging abilities of the pod. But, the pod usually runs out of its recharging ability near its 500th
Earth year of existence, so pod people tend to
die after around 515 years and 1 week of
life.
If you believe to be in contact with a pod person, make sure to tell all females of the pod person's status, and make sure that they WILL NOT 'pod' with them at any time. This is a parasitic race which needs to be exterminated. They have been known to use the movie 'love actually' as an aphrodisiac to lure females into their pod.
