mortuary position 

The most exciting and only sexual position that a women offers after children or the initial honeymoon period of a new relationship. Where once she screamed for more she know screams if you have the nerve to ask. Most importantly this variation of the missionary position 'comes' with the added pleasure of the feeling that her silence(unless you are told to hurry up) and motionless is horribly reminiscent of shagging a corpse or a first time religious teen that feels awkward

Mr Gideon - Come on babe, its been weeks

Miss D - For fucks sake, we have 3 kids and I want to watch council TV. Alright, if you are very quick. But no toys or fingers

Mr Gideon - Great..The mortuary position again

mortuary position by Mr Gideon November 2, 2006