kalbert

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Combination of Kirk and Alberts, supposedly this guy has penis more than 2 times as wide as it is long, probably jsut a sick urban legend.

omfg THAT is a kalbert!

kalbert by East-Kentucky September 17, 2003

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kalbert

Shoving a fat round salami stick up your arse. (can use one of those dog food sausage things, yuuuuuuuuuuk!)

When Bob had finished cumming in her mouth, he decided to give her a kalbert with a 12 inch long, 5 inch wide, bavarian salami.

kalbert by Joe-Dirty September 17, 2003

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Related Words

kalbert • kelbert • Kalert • kalvert • Jon Kolbert • Stinky Kalber

kalbert

fallic deformity common among overweight caucasian, in which the penis is a least 2 times wider than it is long.

his kalbert was to wide to fit

kalbert by robert liu May 19, 2003

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kalbert

A kalbert is a penis more than twice as wide as it is long. The namesake comes from the doctor who found the disorder (and incedentaly the first know case of kalberts) Kirk Alberts

wow look at that chode, its almost a kalbert

kalbert by chodie May 19, 2003

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kalbert

This dude Kirk Albets supposedly had a dick more than 2* as long as wide, so they made this word kalbert, meaning a dick more than two times as wide as it is long. The extreme form of a chode.

Tammy:I don't know how it will fit in me, its a Kalbert
Tom: It can be a trick to get in

kalbert by Dunks September 16, 2003

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kalbert

A serious deformity of the penis, causing it to grow mroe than twice as wide as long. Many bayb's with this disorder (although it is VERY rare) have there genitals cut off and a sex change performed at birth as it is easier on the baby phsychologically. Sometimes it is possible to cure through a secuence of penis enlargement operations.Ë?

in the locker room: "Hey look man, jimmy's got a kalbert!"

kalbert by Kirk Alberts (Kalbert research Foudnation) May 25, 2003

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kalvert

A male who spends all his time at work on-line making perverted innuendos to males and females alike.

Person 1: Who was that guy who was offering to pillage you with his throbbing buttplug?

Person 2: Oh, that's just some kalvert.

kalvert by aervert March 23, 2011

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No Surprises Wedding

A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.

This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.

You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.

Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.

No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023

Word of the Day on November 8, 2026

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