immaculate ejection 

An extremely rare occurrence when a foul, filthy, and consciously sloppy bowel movement leaves no residue on the toilet paper.

Dude 1: "What a beautiful start to my day! I thought last night's spicy enchilada's would have ruined my last roll of t.p.. But when I went to swipe, it was cleaner than fresh linen."

Dude 2: "You've experienced the immaculate ejection. God had bigger things in store for you than a dirty bum."

immaculate ejection by WhoDaThought? April 21, 2021

immaculate erection 

1. The act or experience of being aroused for no apparent reason

Dude, I was just sitting there watching food network and suddenly I was sporting an immaculate erection!

immaculate erection by ChristmaSupdog December 25, 2009