masturbation; erotic self-stimulation
The lyrics to the early 1990's pop-hit song "I Touch Myself" (by The Divinyls) left very little doubt what this phrase meant.
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
(...)
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
(...)
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
(...)
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
(...)
by Allen W May 6, 2006
"I Touch Goats" started off years ago as a standing joke in the Subaru Impreza Driver's Club forums. When the switch to a new forum happened, they gained a fully functional Personal Messaging system with online alerts.
Because of that the need for topics or posts advising people they had a personal message became redundant. By use of the swear filter, common permutations of you have personal message type posts (you have PM etc) are automatically changed to "I touch goats"
The actual origin of "goat-talk" precedes this however, which it is said to have some sort of homosexual connotation, perhaps some sort of off-joke. Anyway, its just a bit of fun...
Spreading outward from the SIDC, this has become near commonplace in many regions throughout the UK, particularly Carterton, Oxfordshire where their connection to their goats is particularly strong.
Because of that the need for topics or posts advising people they had a personal message became redundant. By use of the swear filter, common permutations of you have personal message type posts (you have PM etc) are automatically changed to "I touch goats"
The actual origin of "goat-talk" precedes this however, which it is said to have some sort of homosexual connotation, perhaps some sort of off-joke. Anyway, its just a bit of fun...
Spreading outward from the SIDC, this has become near commonplace in many regions throughout the UK, particularly Carterton, Oxfordshire where their connection to their goats is particularly strong.
Poster One: mate, 'I touch goats'
Poster Two: You do what?!?
Poster One: Erm, I meant you have a private message - what happened there?!?
Poster Two: Ha ha, you touch goats!
Poster Two: You do what?!?
Poster One: Erm, I meant you have a private message - what happened there?!?
Poster Two: Ha ha, you touch goats!
by MattyWR1 April 20, 2011
I've dated two guys in the last couple of months and they both rejected me in the end. Everything I touch turns to shit!
by Mr XXXXXXXXx February 23, 2012
by karaoke008 November 12, 2012
by Vetrotek April 18, 2023
When a person (male)is so disgusted with the female that has simply walked by that the said person would not even have intercourse with her, even if he were to use his friend's penis
Oooft she's a fucken roaster, i wouldn't touch her with yours
or
oof she's a fucken roaster, ah wouldny touch her wi yours
or
oof she's a fucken roaster, ah wouldny touch her wi yours
by Stooster April 5, 2006
A phrase used to say that you strongly wish to stay out of the way of an argument/heavy situation and not have any involvement.
Employee: I caught Debra and Jeff having sex in the office, what the hell are they thinking?
Boss: Err, I wouldn't touch that with a 20-foot pole.
Boss: Err, I wouldn't touch that with a 20-foot pole.
by Corey_Faure January 19, 2011