Someone who masks their hipster attitudes by dressing normally. A closet hipster doesn't physically stand out, but deep down inside, they are glaring at you for your terrible music tastes and consumerist lifestyle.
Lawrence is a closet hipster. He stands out in all the wrong ways at indie concerts and hates Coldplay.
by LK88 December 1, 2010
Living off of monthly donations from Patreon for bad art or 'important work', usually of the social justice variety, which is often subpar or unsellable otherwise. Basically, receiving the financial equivalent of a pity fuck.
by PrimalChaos December 22, 2014
Sriracha, that's it. Because hipsters put that shit on everything like my two year old does with actual ketchup.
I ordered fries but the chic millennial threw hipster ketchup all over them thinking it was cool and now my IBS is gonna flair up tonight. Damn hipsters.
by HipsterHater3000 August 3, 2017
What hipsters feel when something semi-obscure they like (or pretend to like) becomes popular, which they then have to pretend they never liked.
HIPSTER: I liked that song BEFORE it was in that commercial!
DOCTOR: Sounds like a case of hipster woe. Listen to this Os Mutantes album and see me next week.
DOCTOR: Sounds like a case of hipster woe. Listen to this Os Mutantes album and see me next week.
by The Curly-Haired Wonder December 5, 2008
That time when you have to do lunges, squats, and knee lifts in your skinny jeans to prevent your pants from cutting off circulation to your legs.
by phantomg6 March 11, 2013
n. An elderly person who, by simply continuing to dress as she or he has since before you were born, unintentionally ends up wearing outfits that would have taken you weeks to put together at your favorite thrift shop (the one that no-one else knows about... yet).
Hipster A: "Hey, did you check out that replacement hipster's pants?"
Hipster B: "Yeah man, I would have given my eyeteeth for those!"
Hipster B: "Yeah man, I would have given my eyeteeth for those!"
by B. H. Baker December 5, 2006
Hipster mathematics, sometimes shortened to "hipster math", is a type of mathematics inherent to the lifestyle of hipsters. Hipster math does not follow the rules of the classical mathematics established by trained mathematicians and taught in schools. In this sense, hipster math is a form of "experimental" or "quantum" mathematics.
For example, it is well understood in classical mathematics that if a bank account contains a finite amount of funds, then the combination of having no fixed income with repeatedly withdrawing money from said bank account to finance lattes, flat whites, tighter and tighter jeans, Tom's shoes, outrageous sunglasses, the latest iPhone, ironic cigarettes, and obscure art magazines will eventually produce a zero or even negative balance. However, even hipsters with absolutely no income whatsoever (i.e. hipsters without even a token job at a video rental shop or as a barista) are able to continually and indefinitely finance such frivolities. Another interesting aspect of hipster math is that whenever you think you have counted all the hipsters in an urban park, there are always at least three or four more lurking about that somehow escaped the count, despite the fact that they are strumming guitars and singing loudly and are clearly visible in vibrant hipster uniforms.
For example, it is well understood in classical mathematics that if a bank account contains a finite amount of funds, then the combination of having no fixed income with repeatedly withdrawing money from said bank account to finance lattes, flat whites, tighter and tighter jeans, Tom's shoes, outrageous sunglasses, the latest iPhone, ironic cigarettes, and obscure art magazines will eventually produce a zero or even negative balance. However, even hipsters with absolutely no income whatsoever (i.e. hipsters without even a token job at a video rental shop or as a barista) are able to continually and indefinitely finance such frivolities. Another interesting aspect of hipster math is that whenever you think you have counted all the hipsters in an urban park, there are always at least three or four more lurking about that somehow escaped the count, despite the fact that they are strumming guitars and singing loudly and are clearly visible in vibrant hipster uniforms.
"Dude, I think I have seen the same hipster going into that gentrified greasy spoon every night to chow down on a grilled cheese + lobster sandwich, crinkle-cut sweet potato fries, and an ethically-sourced lingonberry milkshake while listening to The Kooks in his Beats headphones and simultaneously scanning Pitchfork and a Henry James novel. He follows it all up with a latte macchiato and four or five Peruvian-chocolate-topped sheeps' butter biscotti. How is he losing weight instead of gaining it?"
"Don't worry about it, man. It's just hipster math."
"Don't worry about it, man. It's just hipster math."
by hipster_of_the_month May 7, 2013