Suppose you meet a girl in a park. She's riding a bike. Taking off all her clothes she screams 'Take whatever you want'
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
by perflubon February 3, 2004
A person capable of making things work in unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical aptitude plus a formal education including large doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.
One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.
by Gunder January 26, 2007
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
by Destillat July 4, 2006
You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
by IsraelHands09 September 16, 2010
A kick-ass uber-genius with godly math and science abilities, the training for wich being at the expence of those abilities for spelling and talking to members of the opposite sex.
by Douglas Weltman June 23, 2003
n. A profession, usually taught in universities as a four-year program. It's far more rigorous than most other programs available to university students, with the benefit of near-guaranteed employment after graduation. Downsides include not being able to get laid and extreme social awkwardness.
Arts majors:
Look, isn't that one of those engineering students? Man, what a pathetic loser. We're so much cooler lolol.
Engineering student:
It's this "loser" here that'll be making 70 grand a year right after graduating. Enjoy your degree in Classical Literature suckers, it'll probably qualify you for flipping burgers.
Look, isn't that one of those engineering students? Man, what a pathetic loser. We're so much cooler lolol.
Engineering student:
It's this "loser" here that'll be making 70 grand a year right after graduating. Enjoy your degree in Classical Literature suckers, it'll probably qualify you for flipping burgers.
by monosodium glutamate April 18, 2009