Commander Crunch

What you call someone when their timeframe for a task is 6-10 months

How is it Commander Crunch hasn’t been fired yet? What a useless sack of shit.

by Flop the beat April 04, 2020

Crunch master

Long haired hippie who talks about the Grateful Dead like it's their religion. There is only one crunch master and that is the professional dab smoker, and the advice giver of drugs. The crunch master will not turn down mushrooms.

"Listening to some Umphreys? So crunchy bro"

"Spencer is the crunch master!"

"Smells crunchy in here. Where's the mantis?"

by Ruckus maine March 29, 2016

Rectal Crunches

The simultaneously contracting your abdomen and sphincter muscles in a effort to conjure up a fart out of thin air.

Bob is amazing. The way he can blast a fart after a few rectal crunches deifies logic.

by Steve the Buckaneer March 10, 2019

Crunching one off

A much better way of saying taking a shit or pooping

So there I was in the woods, crunching one off, when I see the biggest fucking black bear ever to exist...

by Wiserthantoast June 09, 2018

Coochie Crunching

When somebody is Dickriding or doing too much in a situation

Shawty ode she always in somebody business coochie crunching

by Dondada Dolo April 24, 2023

crunch granola

A term that best describes people that lack personal hygiene , are overly consumed with environmental conservation. A new era, 21st Century hippie.

Yo, babe, look, Ruth still refuses to shave any of her “hot spots” or legs all in the name of water conservation. PU!! Straight Crunch granola

by Woodbury 008 October 12, 2017

Taco Crunch

A swift hand movement to the female genetalia region, causing pain in the vagina

Dave gave a taco crunch to Nancy after she slept with his dad.

by Dave-Kort October 19, 2013