A right-wing conspiracy nut's worst nightmare 

*In Borat voice* My LiFe! Sorry... I'm not good at accents.

Hym "Yeah! I couldn't have put it better myself! A right-wing conspiracy nut's worst nightmare. Well, I mean, I COULD have put it better myself because I'm a genius and the greatest mind who has ever lived but it's-that's pretty good, yeah... And it's like 'Do you really have a stalker or are you just saying that because you know who I am and you know that I have a stalker and you want use my response to you SAYING you have a stalker (regardless of whether or not it's true) to justify your participation?' You know? Or 'Do you really have a paranoid schizophrenic brother or are you just saying that because you know who I am? Would you be saying any of this if I wasn't here?' It's like you want your behavior to be contingent on my behavior... Without my behavior being ONLY SELECTIVELY CONTINGENT on your behavior. If I do what you want, you're responsible. If I don't, it's on me. And it's NOT ANALOGOUS to MY behavior, because I take FULL CREDIT for the good and the bad. From dead kids to saved souls. Full credit."

A right-wing conspiracy nut's worst nightmare by Hym Iam January 6, 2024

Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group

A loose network of individuals, generally connected through online communications, dedicated to spreading the belief that 'online' poker is 'rigged'. The most common belief is that players are 'fed' above-average starting hands to make them play more pots, thus supposedly increasing rake for the site.

An objective analysis quickly reveals this to be unworkable. Pre-loading players with excellent starting hands would in fact *lower* rake overall. This is because such a practice would invariably cause play to occur over a small number of large pots, rather than a large number of small pots. Since most sites 'cap' the rake at a given figure (typically taking a maximum of $3 per pot regardless of size), this would be deleterious to profit. Additionally, after a small series of large pots, *at least* one person at the table will have lost all their money. Hence no more pots (and thus no more rake) *at all*.

The nonsensicality of the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group's beliefs is no deterrent to the promulgation of their credo. This is because these are, invariably, losing players, who do not wish to acknowledge that they have been repeatedly beaten in a game of skill by players whose skill is superior to theirs. It is perhaps a noteworthy comment on the human condition that such conspiracies do not exist with regards to other skill games where money is not directly used as a tool of play.

The Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group exists so that its members may continue to delude themselves about their poker ability, comfort each other over their soooooo-so rigged rivers, ignore pot odds and implied odds, and collectively justify committing mass credit-card fraud, since 'it's not stealing if they're thieves too'.

I made the nuts on the flop, checked, and checked the turn... this MOFO is there checkin' right back behind me... river... a DIAMOND omfg so f-in RIGGED, the guy had a FLUSH omg roflmao can't believe he HAD A FLUSH... NO F-ING WAY THE ODDS ARE LIKE QUADRILLIONS TO ONE I'm off to join the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group!

Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group by Peter Gibney December 19, 2006

conspiracy spherist 

Anyone who still think we live on a ball despist the fact that J R Tolan has taken pictures of mountains over 500 miles away ImpossiBALL

Neil Tyson DeGrasse says that the Earth is pear-shaped he is a conspiracy Spherist

conspiracy spherist by Nice111 June 29, 2019

SEC conspiracy 

The idea that everyone in college football is out to get the SEC. Thinking they are master's of the universe, these bastions of sportsmanship forget their illiteracy and racial intolerance to chant how important their conference is. Conference pride is about as intelligent as AFC pride in the NFL, it's meaningless and most fans find themselves defending their conference for no real reason due to the SEC conspiracy. The conspiracy exists mainly due to the fact that flaws are never recognized but every strength exploited to the point of nausea.

"Hey look Cal is beating the University of Tennessee!" - random sports fan
"IT DOESNT MATTER SEC SEC SEC S E C S E C IN YOUR FACE" - Jorts doning SEC fan
"That doesn't even make sense, your conference is losing?" - random sports fan
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!" - Jorts doning SEC fan
"Lets go in Barnes and Nobles, it's like kryptonite to red-necks, he's suffering from the SEC conspiracy." - random sports fan

SEC conspiracy by mwbinDC February 19, 2008

Seditious Conspiracy 

Since 1861, in the United States, seditious conspiracy is codified at 18 U.S.C. § 2384:

If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.

When the second branch of the federal government organizes a mob to lay siege to the first branch to interrupt the peaceful transition of elected power, that’s a seditious conspiracy.

Seditious Conspiracy by Word Ranch June 6, 2022

Spork Conspiracy 

The ever-powerful consipracy led by none other than Cami, the prestigious zombie ninja-fairy.
This Conspiracy lasted for a total of 3 years, containing 8 members total, they had about 20 departments in their army, with about 100 sub-ordinates in each. (Each department was a different species. Some of the departments were even make up of inanimate objects.)
Yes, they could have taken over the universe. Alas, the evil foot gnomes stopped them, with their evil foot gnome ways.
The Spork Conspiracy, with their universe-conquering dream destroyed, broke up and began their own individual plotting against the foot-gnomes.

If the foot gnomes weren't such assholes, The Spork Conspiracy would've been ruling the universe by now!

Spork Conspiracy by Cami (Is cooler than you) March 18, 2007

Pittsburgh Sports team conspiracy 

A behind-the-door deal in which Pittsburgh Sports team will win a few Championships here and there in exchange for having a really shitty baseball team. Usually their championship win are fluke wins.

This can easily be explained.

Pittsburgh Pirates- 18 years on losing season
Pittsburgh Penguns- 2009 Stanley Cup Champions
Pittsburgh Steelers- Superbowl XL and XLIII Champions

Philadelphia Sports team fan 1 : What the hell is up with this Pittsburgh Sports team conspiracy? So unfair.

Philadelphia Sports team fan 2 : I guess we have the exact oppisite; A football team that is always close, a hockey team that is always close, and a sick ass baseball team.

Pittsburgh Sports team conspiracy by Eagles 2011 SB Champs December 14, 2010