Captives

An older American vernacular term for Newspapers.

Deliver boy: I don’t see your New York Times Ma’am

Person : can you recheck I need my captives to start my research for a project today

by Freddie Hill December 13, 2020

Captive Hoops

Circular Piercings inserted into piercings/pierced areas. Commonly used in ears, bottom lips, eyebrows, noses, nipples and occasionally the belly button, penis and vagina.

Usually they are a circular piece of metal, with a ball holding the two pieces closed so the piercing won't slip or fall out.

Rarely are they silver, gold or glass.

A : "Do you have anything better to put in my ears? All i have are these boring studs.."
B : "Well I just bought some neon captive hoops the other day"

by Afterrhythmia March 15, 2009

penis captivus

A proposed scenario where, during sex, the vaginal muscles suddenly close around the penis, lodging it in the vagina and keeping it stuck there. It's been said that, should this occur, even after the errection dies down, it would require surgery to fix this. No real occurence has happened thus far.

"My boyfriend has this paranoid fear of penis captivus so we rarely have orgasms."

by Bowman June 16, 2002

comedy-captive

A person who politely smiles and feigns amusement, while someone in their presence re-enacts a comedy sequence so poorly that others nearby are embarrassed.

John's longwinded retelling of the usually hilarious apoopalypse skit made me a comedy-captive for four painful minutes.

by ram March 8, 2005

Bonus captivus

when you want to leave the job but delay it beause you don't want to lose the yearly bonus

"John can't leave the company right now, he's in bonus captivus"

by alex_b June 8, 2016

Captive bolt pistol

When a man ejaculates rapidly, unexpectedly and with greater-than-average force and velocity into the unwitting face or forehead of his girlfriend / wife / partner, thus leaving them with a stunned expression.

This is inspired by the captive bolt pistol that psychotic killer Anton Chigurh uses in the movie 'No Country for Old Men'. His victims have no idea what's coming and when they do it's too late.

The device itself is usually used to stun cattle or livestock before they are butchered.

"Man, my girl was giving me the best BJ last night and before I knew it, I'd totally fired a captive bolt pistol right in her face... she was pretty stunned!"

by QuinnyT October 28, 2009

Captive Mermaid

the act of tying a female's feet with a rope, holding her up by her feet (grabbing onto the rope), and fucking her.

1: hey man lookin good. have you been working out.
2: no i've just been giving my girlfriend the captive mermaid. talk about a work out.

by thelegend91 September 15, 2009