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butt band

"oh my lord, jim, i bruised my butt band & it hurts to shit." - whore

"well, we shouldn't have done the dooty in the booty last night." - retarded whore lover
by weedman van blunt February 14, 2009
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Butt band aid

Tight mini skirt that barely covers a nice ass
That ass was hot in that red butt band aid.
by Brownbear703 June 30, 2018
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butt bandit

a small asian man who runs around and pulls his pants down and puts his ass on things. As he does this he then proceeds to yell out the name of the object in which his butt cheeks are grazing.
"Ahh my ass un key boad"
"Ahh my ass un yo compua"
by chaouwdtieey August 15, 2003
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butt bandit

A closet homosexual male who had sex with females but will attempt to slip into her rectum pretending not to know he has done it.
An openly homosexual male who is always in search of an available butthole.
A pervert who loves the feel, taste and smell of a butthole.
A predator who rapes anally.
Ass fucker.
"Watch your asses boys, the butt bandit is back in town.
by jsd9632 February 1, 2012
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butt bandit

A person who steals cigarette butts out of public ashtrays and smokes them. They are usually very sneaky and attempt to do it when no one is watching to avoid the embarrassment of being caught doing something so profoundly disgusting. Butt bandits are usually the very poor and the underage.
I remember I left a half smoked cigarette in the ashtray outside of work on my last break and now it's gone. It must have been stolen by a butt bandit.
by 03specv December 21, 2010
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Butt Bandit

a person who grabs butts sneakily and aggressively
brody! stop grabbing our butts you butt bandit
by sensei jackie chan September 14, 2025
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Butt-Stabbing Bandit

The name is quite self-explanatory, but don't let that make you thing you know everything you need to about the Butt-Stabbing Bandit. He is a ferocious monster that crawled out of hell itself, hungering for one thing; butt-related injuries.

If you are a guy, imagine having dozens of miniature testicles up your bum. Now picture them all bursting with the brutal stab of a 220 lbs. man and his full force punch of a 5 inch rusty carbon steel tactical knife. If you are a woman, well, I don't know how to relate it to you. So just imagine something really bad up your butt. Like childbirth! That's it, imagine you are giving birth in your ass. But...it reverses, I guess. Whatever.
This is the dark reality of few Americans. This occurrence is rare, and only seldom caught on tape. The side effects of an attack by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit include:
-Bleeding (duh)
-Crying
-Feeling of extreme pain
-Loss of bowel control (eww)
-Nightmares
-Depressing
-Rage
-More crying
-Anxiety

Note: One of the main results of an assault by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit results in the possible change in sexuality. The first stab changes you to the sexuality opposite from your original one. The second changes you back. And so on and so forth, leaving you at the mercy of if he stabs you an odd or even number of times.
Guy 1: Dude, what happened to you? We haven't seen you in weeks! I called your house, but all your roommate said was that you were in the hospital.
Guy 2: Nothing, man, nothing. *Starts to walk away, revealing the intensive bandage wrapping on his ass-region.
Guy 1: What's up with your ass, man?
Guy 2: I was.. I got attacked by the Butt-Stabbing Bandit, okay?!? Happy now?
Guy 1: Holy shit, dude... I had no idea. I'm sorry, like, I don't know what to say.
Guy 2: Just go, man. *Dark black and white flashback of attack* *Tear roles down cheek*
Guy 1: You okay?
Guy 2: Just go....
by JasperRide March 29, 2015
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