1. A shit.
Dump. Poop.
Caca. Doodie.
Butt cruller. Colon Phó. Dookie. Craptain’
s Log. Turd. Et shitera.
(A color shift, or word-play on “Rhapsody in Blue,” the title of George Gershwin’s iconic,
jazz-infused composition for solo piano and orchestra - which only a perverse individual would use as a metaphor for taking a gigantic emergency
dump-a-roo.)
2. The title of McBackdoornugget Gershwin’s not-as-iconic, hyper-sexualized composition for amplified, prepared solo contrabassoon and didjeridoodoo ensemble.
(M. Gershwin was George Gershwin’s conjoined twin who lived inside his transverse colon. He lived until age 14, shortly after celebrating his bar mitzvah.)
1. Salomé von Schtankenburg: “Carthage! You’re 10 minutes late for rehearsal AGAIN. What’s going ON with you?!?”
Carthage McFartface: “BISSSHH I WAS MAYKINA RHAPSODY IN
BROWN FOUR YOR INFOURMASHION
BISH WEN YOU GOTSSA GOE BISSH YOU GOTTA GO NOW GETOUDDAMYWAYBISSSHHH AYIM NOWW TEN. PLUS
ONE MINITZ. LAYTE.”
2. (From The Contrabassonist’s Weekly):
“The seventh-best recording of M. Gershwin’s ‘Rhapsody in
Brown’ features the undeniable virtuosity of the legendary Inuit contrabassonist Qalnuuuuuuuknuuuknuuk Smith, whose
deep, truly smelly, scatological tone nevertheless penetrates the hearts — and clits — of his listeners. Hats off to the didjeridoodooists, too.”