1: The fear that if you dye your hair blonde in any shade, your IQ will
automatically drop to that of a boardslut.
2: If you're blonde than your brain cells change to something like
marshmellows (which are lighter than air) and float right out of the top of your head-very scary to watch.
3: The way we
brunettes act around the skanky blondes we all love and know.
Blonde: Like, wow, my nails are
Peachy Keen Pink. Do you think, that, maybe, like, it might not, like, go with my, like eyelashes? Wait-do eyelashes even have a color. I want to dye mine purple like Barney. Cool...
Brunette: I think that I am going to kill myself-you're the stupidest person I know.
I think I'm suffering from blondephobiamitosis.